The First Week

The first week of Gavin's life was rough. He was born on Monday, and it was Friday before I managed to sleep for more than an hour at a time. On Tuesday night, I discovered the place beyond exhaustion where, even when Kevin woke up and took over, I spent the night sobbing instead of sleeping. It did nothing to help my situation, but there was nothing else I could do.

We were in the hospital until Wednesday morning. It was nice to be there, with nurses on call to help and other people taking care of nearly everything. Still, the room was small and people were constantly interrupting whenever I tried to take a nap. By Wednesday morning, I was more than ready to head home.

A lot of people say that in the car, on the way home from the hospital, they experience a moment of panic. The idea of taking care of another human being suddenly becomes overwhelming, and without the constant help of professionals they aren't sure they can do it. Kevin and I never experienced that moment. The truth is that while taking care of a newborn can't exactly be called easy, it is simple. Feed them when they're hungry, change them when they're wet, hold them when they cry. Then again, Kevin and I got a pretty easy baby. He's healthy and happy and really only fusses when he needs something.

That said, breast-feeding was initially a bit of a challenge. Gavin had trouble latching at first, because my boobs were too big for his mouth. The lactation consultant gave me a nipple shield, which helped immensely, though Gavin still seemed to be struggling to get enough food. He ate almost constantly, until my milk finally came in late Thursday evening/Friday morning. At that point he finally filled his stomach and I was able to get my first substantial chunk of sleep. Within another day, he was able to latch without the nipple shield, and breastfeeding has been pretty easy ever since.

Friday was Gavin's first doctor's appointment, where we learned he'd lost a pound since his birth. This wasn't too concerning, since it was in the 10% threshold. But they did want us to be aggressive about feeding him to get his weight back up.

It turned out that we were a little more aggressive than we needed to be. Which surprised me, and made me feel better in hindsight. But the next couple of days were really rough. I was supposed to wake Gavin up to feed him every two hours. In practice I only attempted to wake him every three hours, and since it took an hour to wake him up, he was really only eating every four hours. Which I was worried about even though Kevin kept insisting it was fine. We also supplemented with formula to make sure he was full.

Like I said, even though I was worried we weren't feeding him enough, it ended up being more than enough. At the next appointment he was up half a pound, and the doctor had only been expecting him to gain 3 ounces. So from then on, we were on a feed-on-demand schedule, and Gavin was allowed to sleep for 5 or 6 hours when he wanted to, which meant that I started sleeping again, too.

The other thing that happened during Gavin's first week was his first outing. He was too young for us to host Hallowiener this year, so Zach and Sarah chose to host a smaller version of the event. And even though Gavin was only 5 days old, we took him down to meet everyone. It was nice to get out of the house (though I ended up worried that he went too long without food), and Gavin was fantastic for most of the trip. He slept on the way down and nearly the entire time we were there. He ate a little bit just before we left. But he didn't get enough and ended up screaming for part of the drive back home. It was stressful, but ultimately a good outing. And Gavin got plenty to eat once we got home.

The first week was rough. But the memory of just how difficult it was is already starting to fade. Gavin started sleeping well quickly, and nothing too traumatic happened. As overwhelming as it all was in the moment, I can already see how people romanticize it all and decide to have another baby. Although I can only imagine how much more difficult it all is when you have another child to take care of.