This past weekend was the annual beer, bourbon, and barbecue festival in National Harbor. We've been attending this for years now, and it's always a great excuse for some summertime day drinking. A ticket gets you unlimited tastings from a variety of breweries and distilleries. And we always purchase the VIP tickets, which get you in the door two hours earlier than the general public. Totally worth it.
We had a smaller group this year than in past years. And we didn't drink nearly as much (or as long) as we have in years past. At one point, Kevin, Sarah, and I even left to go sit in an air-conditioned restaurant and cool off with some lemonade and iced tea. We must be getting old.
But despite our inability to keep up with our younger selves, we had a lot of fun. We didn't get the fancy VIP food, but we spent some time playing skee ball and giant jenga. I remembered more of the bourbons this year, many of which were pleasantly smooth. And there was even one station that served moonshine and moonshine-derived drinks like apple pie and lemonade. They were delicious, and they came with ice, so Sarah and I kept going back for more.
As I said, we left earlier than usual, and Roy kindly drove us all back to Zach and Sarah's place in DC. We drank some more beer, which may not have been the greatest idea, and played some games. Then a tropical storm rolled in and Kevin and I attempted to get home in between downpours. Which we almost accomplished. It wasn't raining when we got off the train, but it started soon after. Kevin made a run for it, and I just got soaked, and ruined my wallet and possibly my purse in the process. Oh well. It was worth it. Especially since I then zonked out for a solid 11 hours. It was glorious.
Tuesday, June 23, 2015
Friday, June 12, 2015
What's Mine Is Yours
On the one hand, money all gets combined the moment you sign the marriage certificate. That's one of the main points of marriage: combining your assets. You get some tax breaks (depending on how much money you make) and you become liable for each other and all the money you make or spend is in the same pot.
On the other hand, it's a lot more complicated than that from a practical standpoint. And an emotional one.
Money was always a fraught issue with my dad. Moreso as I got older and started caring more. This peaked in college, when it seemed like every fight we had came down to money. Then I graduated and got a job and disentangled myself as much as I could. I bought my car from him and got off the family phone plan sooner than anyone else I know. I never asked him for another cent, even when I lost my job, and our relationship started improving.
So I've got some baggage around the idea of combining finances with someone. Even someone with whom I've already combined literally every single other aspect of my life. There's a feeling of independence that comes with making and managing your own money, and I've been loathe to give it up.
But that's part of marriage.
Lucky for me, Kevin and I have very similar views when it comes to money. We make about the same amount. We save and spend about the same amount. We value the same things. Money isn't something we've ever fought about. But even with someone on the same page as me, it's scary to relinquish some of that control.
So it took over a year of marriage for us to broach the subject of a joint account and start taking steps to combine all of our assets.
And then you have to deal with all of the headaches and decisions that come with that. Which bank should we choose? How much money do we want in each account? Which credit card should we get for shared purchases? What's the difference between a joint account and an authorized user and how much does it matter? All in all, I think we've talked about money more in the last month than we did in all the previous five years of living together. Which is a good thing. It's nice to get reassurance that we're on the same page and be forced to do some more research when we aren't.
But once those decisions are made, it's not like the stress just goes away. I'm a bit of a control freak, and this mostly plays itself out in how I manage my money (and my kitchen, ask anyone who's attempted to do the dishes in my house). I don't have any of my bills set up to auto-pay, because it would just cause me more stress, checking every few hours to see if the money has been transferred yet. Hell, I get stressed when a statement shows up a day late because of a holiday. I get used to paying it on the same day every month and having to wait throws me off.
So you can imagine how stressed I've been with everything currently up in the air. You open the new account and transfer enough money to get things started. But you have to leave enough money in the other accounts to avoid fees. Because it can take a month for direct deposits to get switched over successfully, and closing the old account too soon will just exacerbate the problem. Money disappears for a day or two while it's being transferred, and I always have a moment of panic before I remember where that money is. Mint's notifications aren't really helping with this stress.
I just have to tell myself that it will all settle down soon. The new accounts will be funded, the old ones closed. Everything will get transferred over and we'll end up with a much more complete picture of our financial lives. In the meantime I'll keep taking deep breaths.
On the other hand, it's a lot more complicated than that from a practical standpoint. And an emotional one.
Money was always a fraught issue with my dad. Moreso as I got older and started caring more. This peaked in college, when it seemed like every fight we had came down to money. Then I graduated and got a job and disentangled myself as much as I could. I bought my car from him and got off the family phone plan sooner than anyone else I know. I never asked him for another cent, even when I lost my job, and our relationship started improving.
So I've got some baggage around the idea of combining finances with someone. Even someone with whom I've already combined literally every single other aspect of my life. There's a feeling of independence that comes with making and managing your own money, and I've been loathe to give it up.
But that's part of marriage.
Lucky for me, Kevin and I have very similar views when it comes to money. We make about the same amount. We save and spend about the same amount. We value the same things. Money isn't something we've ever fought about. But even with someone on the same page as me, it's scary to relinquish some of that control.
So it took over a year of marriage for us to broach the subject of a joint account and start taking steps to combine all of our assets.
And then you have to deal with all of the headaches and decisions that come with that. Which bank should we choose? How much money do we want in each account? Which credit card should we get for shared purchases? What's the difference between a joint account and an authorized user and how much does it matter? All in all, I think we've talked about money more in the last month than we did in all the previous five years of living together. Which is a good thing. It's nice to get reassurance that we're on the same page and be forced to do some more research when we aren't.
But once those decisions are made, it's not like the stress just goes away. I'm a bit of a control freak, and this mostly plays itself out in how I manage my money (and my kitchen, ask anyone who's attempted to do the dishes in my house). I don't have any of my bills set up to auto-pay, because it would just cause me more stress, checking every few hours to see if the money has been transferred yet. Hell, I get stressed when a statement shows up a day late because of a holiday. I get used to paying it on the same day every month and having to wait throws me off.
So you can imagine how stressed I've been with everything currently up in the air. You open the new account and transfer enough money to get things started. But you have to leave enough money in the other accounts to avoid fees. Because it can take a month for direct deposits to get switched over successfully, and closing the old account too soon will just exacerbate the problem. Money disappears for a day or two while it's being transferred, and I always have a moment of panic before I remember where that money is. Mint's notifications aren't really helping with this stress.
I just have to tell myself that it will all settle down soon. The new accounts will be funded, the old ones closed. Everything will get transferred over and we'll end up with a much more complete picture of our financial lives. In the meantime I'll keep taking deep breaths.
Wednesday, June 10, 2015
Keeping Up WIth Kevin
One of my more nebulous fitness goals has been a vague desire to keep up with Kevin. To be clear, this will probably never happen. Kevin has always had more strength and more stamina than me, and I doubt I'll ever actually catch up to him, fitness-wise. It's more that I want to be able to feel like I'm not slowing him down too much.
I've been getting better at this recently. We've gone on some longer bike rides together, and while I know he would go faster if I weren't with him, I don't make such a bad showing. At least I don't have to completely stop or forgo certain activities anymore. And if I average 11 mph on a bike ride that Kevin averages 13 mph on when he does it by himself, well 11 mph isn't exactly anything to be ashamed of.
This past weekend I did a pretty good job of matching Kevin. Certainly better than I would have done a year or two ago. Jen and Steve proposed a hike in Rock Creek Park, and Kevin almost immediately decided to bike down to meet them. I didn't want to drive in the city by myself, so I considered metroing down to meet them, but I ultimately decided that I could handle the bike ride and hike in the same day. And if I couldn't bike back, well the metro was always an option.
So on Saturday morning we woke up and biked the 18 miles to Steve's house. We went a bit out of our way so Kevin could show me the beginning of the C&O trail, which we may do part of at some point. It's packed dirt, not gravel, so we'd have to pick a day when it hasn't rained recently, but at least it wouldn't be as bumpy as the Accotink trail.
Jen made delicious bacon and pancakes for us when we arrived, and we hung out for a bit. Then we drove over to Rock Creek Park to find a trail. We decided on the Boulder Bridge trail, a 3.5 mile loop from nature center to creek and back. I fell a bit behind on the steeper uphill section, but it wasn't too bad. And we stopped partway through to drink some wine and play and excellent game called Infinite City (Kevin lost!).
After the hike I wasn't feeling up to biking all the way home, but neither was Kevin, so I felt better. We took a quick ride to Foggy Bottom, so we wouldn't have to haul our bikes through Metro Center, and took the train home. Granted, at the end of this I collapsed on the couch and Kevin went to umpire a baseball game, proving that I'm not actually as fit as he is. But I still feel pretty good about myself.
I've been getting better at this recently. We've gone on some longer bike rides together, and while I know he would go faster if I weren't with him, I don't make such a bad showing. At least I don't have to completely stop or forgo certain activities anymore. And if I average 11 mph on a bike ride that Kevin averages 13 mph on when he does it by himself, well 11 mph isn't exactly anything to be ashamed of.
This past weekend I did a pretty good job of matching Kevin. Certainly better than I would have done a year or two ago. Jen and Steve proposed a hike in Rock Creek Park, and Kevin almost immediately decided to bike down to meet them. I didn't want to drive in the city by myself, so I considered metroing down to meet them, but I ultimately decided that I could handle the bike ride and hike in the same day. And if I couldn't bike back, well the metro was always an option.
So on Saturday morning we woke up and biked the 18 miles to Steve's house. We went a bit out of our way so Kevin could show me the beginning of the C&O trail, which we may do part of at some point. It's packed dirt, not gravel, so we'd have to pick a day when it hasn't rained recently, but at least it wouldn't be as bumpy as the Accotink trail.
Jen made delicious bacon and pancakes for us when we arrived, and we hung out for a bit. Then we drove over to Rock Creek Park to find a trail. We decided on the Boulder Bridge trail, a 3.5 mile loop from nature center to creek and back. I fell a bit behind on the steeper uphill section, but it wasn't too bad. And we stopped partway through to drink some wine and play and excellent game called Infinite City (Kevin lost!).
After the hike I wasn't feeling up to biking all the way home, but neither was Kevin, so I felt better. We took a quick ride to Foggy Bottom, so we wouldn't have to haul our bikes through Metro Center, and took the train home. Granted, at the end of this I collapsed on the couch and Kevin went to umpire a baseball game, proving that I'm not actually as fit as he is. But I still feel pretty good about myself.
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