Work-cation

Back in June, Gavin and I were able to join Kevin on a week-long work trip to Fairbanks, Alaska. Kevin has to work for three days (which sort of stretched into four days), but we took the whole week so we'd have some time to enjoy the scenery as a family.

We went right after the solstice, and Fairbanks is just a couple hundred miles south of the Arctic Circle, so there was a lot of sunlight. Technically, the sun set for a little over two hours every night, but it never dipped far enough below the horizon for the sky to actually get dark. Instead it was a kind of twilight that was really surreal the couple of times I glimpsed it. Despite the lack of night, or maybe because of it, since the hotel room had blackout curtains, Gavin slept like a champ for the entire trip. He took two solid naps every day, which gave me plenty of time to read and watch mindless TV while Kevin was working. The flip side of that is that I spent a lot of time confined to a hotel room with a sleeping baby, but that's not such a bad way to spend a vacation.

That frame of mind is helped by the fact that there isn't a ton to do in Fairbanks, especially without a car. The downtown area is small. Even with my limited time I managed to visit every shop and museum and almost every restaurant. We spent a morning at the children's museum, which had a play area for toddlers. Gavin was a little too young for it, but it was a nice change of pace.

With Kevin along we ventured a little farther out. We took a riverboat cruise and learned about the history of the area. We visited a park that had a number of museums and attractions in addition to the playgrounds and grassy areas. Gavin even got to go on his first train ride around the park. We also went on a short hike around a lake and stopped off at the North Pole. Gavin was sleeping, so we didn't get a picture of him with Santa, but we'll get one this Christmas.

It was a nice, relaxing vacation, and it was fun to see Alaska. I was surprised by how much it reminded me of Colorado, except without the mountains. The climate and wildlife were so similar to what I grew up with that I wasn't as awed as I probably ought to have been. I was surprised at how warm it was, and was especially weirded out that it kept getting warmer late into the day. When the sun doesn't set until after midnight, the temperature is still rising at dinner-time. I'm used to it cooling off by then.

With this trip, Gavin has completed his tour of the non contiguous United States, traveling as far north and west as Kevin and I have ever been. Too bad he won't remember any of it. I guess we'll just have to go back when he's older.

End of Summer

Once again summer has come and gone and I've barely updated this blog. Okay, I haven't written at all. I've mostly managed to keep up with my book blog, but even that has been something of a chore. I go in bursts, writing five or six reviews at once before letting them pile up again.

I suppose this isn't entirely unprecedented. I've had dry spells with this blog before and always managed to come back to it. But none were this long. And I'm left wondering if something fundamental has changed.

The thing is that I want to write. There a bunch of things I keep meaning to blog about: our trips to Alaska, Lake Anna, and Charleston. My first night away from Gavin. All of the cool things Gavin is doing. My feelings about being a parent and what has changed and what hasn't. But first off, it's almost impossible to find time to sit with my computer anymore. And second off, whenever I do find the time, I end up just staring a blank document for a while before I click away to Facebook. It doesn't matter how many entries I compose in my head, the second I find time to write it all flees.

But I've found the time now. The question is whether this is a resurrection or a death rattle. Will I keep going, or will this blog stand as a memorial to a former chapter in my life. Can I find the time and effort to maintain it or should I just let it go?

As much as I've neglected it lately, I'm not ready to stop just yet. I've made some changes in my life that I'm hoping will let me get back to blogging. I've started taking the train to work again instead of driving. It's a slightly longer commute, but it gives me more time to read. That should give me some time back overall - if I'm reading on the train every day maybe I won't be compelled to pick up a book every time I find myself with an extra twenty minutes. I'm also adjusting my work schedule - moving up to five 6-hour days instead of three. Gavin will be in daycare full time, I'll be working more, but I think I might actually end up with more free time. I'll have two extra afternoons a week without Gavin, and that time is way more reliable than his naps.

It's true that parenthood changes you in unexpected ways. I'm much more willing to go out now, to sacrifice a little sleep because I know I can. I was out with neighbors until 11 last Wednesday, and I have tickets to a weekday concert with my brother later in September. It will be my first concert since college, and I'm actually looking forward to it. Maybe because, without Gavin along, it will actually feel more like a night off than a night on.

I'm also more organized - I have to be. I'm better at staying on top of the housework, because I'm so scared of falling behind on it. I'm worse at sleeping but better at functioning on less sleep. Now that I'm sharing all of my food with Gavin, I think I'm eating better, but I'm also trying not to worry about it too much. More fruits and veggies, sure, but there's nothing wrong with the occasionally deep-fried or smothered-in-cheese meal.

With all these changes, I'm hoping that my desire to write sticks with me. I still have dreams and goals in that direction, though they seem a bit farther off now than they did a year or two ago. Right now my biggest goal is to finish my DS9 rewatch before the new Star Trek series premieres, and I'm not sure I'll be able to. Twelve episodes in three and a half weeks should be a piece of cake, but carving out that time is proving tricky. Especially since I've started playing the new Zelda game and am devoting every spare minute to that. But Kevin's taking it with him on his next business trip, and I'll need something to fill the void.

So this is where we stand. There are a million things I want to write about. Thoughts and feelings and records. I want to get them down before they slip away for good. I also want to enjoy every minute with my kid while I can. I'll find the balance. I'm finding it every day.