Book Meme - Day 31

What would be on the soundtrack for your favorite book?

Well this is a bummer of a question to go out on, because I don't really have any idea how to answer it. Sometimes I'll connect a specific character to a certain song. Like Denna and Richard Thompson's "Beeswing". But coming up with an entire soundtrack? That just sounds like work I don't want to do.

And since no one is making me do it, I'm not going to.

Book Meme - Day 30

How many books do you typically read in a month? How do you feel about this number?

According to the spreadsheet I started keeping this year, I read 12 or 13 books a month. Which is honestly a little high. I'm reading more this year than I ever have in the past, and it's hitting the point where that's probably not a good thing.

Reading is an effective way to learn more about the world around you, to escape when things get too hard, to pass the time when your bored. But I need to start making time for other things again. I want to find time to practice yoga regularly or go for a bike ride. I want to hang out on the couch with my husband and watch TV or even a movie. I want to write more (actually, I'm doing way better at this this month).

Then again, all those things require a solid chunk of time - 45 minutes at least. And at Gavin's current age, it's hard to carve out that kind of time. It's much easier to find five minutes to read another page or two of a book.

I'm going to read more books this year than I ever have before. I think I want this to go down as my record year. Not that I'm going to stop reading altogether or anything. But I need to start getting back to other things.

If only there weren't so many books I want to read. A big part of this is that I need to stop buying books so I don't feel as much pressure to read so fast.

Book Meme - Day 29

Are there any books or topics that should not be published? What are they? Why?

No.

I support free speech and freedom of the press and that means even things I don't agree with. Every idea deserves to be heard. And then you can reject it, argue against it, and shoot it down. But you have to at least hear it first.

Book Meme - Day 28

What are you reading right now? What are it's strengths and weaknesses?

As usual, I'm reading several books at the moment:

The Name of the Wind. This is one of my favorites. I got the Tenth Anniversary edition for Christmas, and I'm finally reading it now. It has a bunch of new illustrations and some bonus material at the end. I love a lot of things about this book: the use of language, the world building, the magic system, the characters, the way it talks about music and poverty and the quest of knowledge. The dichotomy of the hero and villain and how it's mostly a matter of perspective. The way rumors turn to myths and legends. I wish there were more female characters. And that the hardcover wasn't so heavy. It's hard to read in bed at night.

Discount Armageddon: The first in one of Seanan McGuire's many, many urban fantasy series. And possibly my favorite of hers. This is a fun adventure that's bringing back a lot of the things I liked about Buffy (the heroine has a quick wit, a strong family, and a desire to have a life outside of monster hunting that she's struggling to balance with the monster hunting). McGuire has matured as a writer since the early Toby Daye books (which I also want to revisit - apparently I quit that series just before it got good). I dunno, I'm barely 100 pages into this book, but so far I'm loving it. I'll probably have more to say when I'm finished.

A Hat Full of Sky: One of Pratchett's Discworld books, the second about Tiffany Aching. This is a great young adult story about growing up and taking responsibility. It could be more diverse, as could all of Discworld. But I love it for being about a practical young girl who wants to help people.

Book Meme - Day 27

Describe your ideal book club

There would be an emphasis on SFF. Maybe that's all we'd read. I know most of the history of this genre, I'm familiar with it's tropes. I think there are a lot of exciting things happening there right now, and I'd love to discuss it with other people familiar with the genre.

All the members would be well-read and politically engaged. I want to talk about how books do or don't reflect the larger world, and I don't want those conversations to be a bunch of 101 lessons. I want the discussion to be on a higher level.

There would be a set meeting time, once a month. Roughly six people would show up each month, a mix of people who are there every month and people who only come occasionally.

There would be wine and snacks and it would be close enough to my house that I could walk home.

It would not fizzle out after 3 or 6 months.

Book Meme - Day 26

Do you return your library books on time? What do you think your answer means about other aspects of your life?

I don't check out books from the library because I get too anxious about not finishing them before they're due. This is ridiculous. I believe library loans typically last 2 weeks, and I usually finish a book in 3-4 days. A week if it's really long. But I always worry that it'll take longer, and then I'll have to return it unfinished. Or renew it and then someone who was waiting to read it will have to wait even longer. I stopped going to the library years ago, because it was causing me too much stress.

I think this demonstrates rather well that I will spend money to avoid a stressful situation if at all possible. I'm lucky I'm rich. If I weren't, my anxiety disorder would be a much bigger presence in my life. As it is, I can avoid most things that cause me stress and manage my anxiety without medicine.

Book Meme - Day 25

Have you ever pulled an all-nighter to finish a book? Which was it? What made it so compelling?

I have twice stayed up all night (or at least way, way too late) to finish a book.

The first time was Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets when I was twelve. It was summer, so it's not like I had to wake up and do anything the next morning, which helped with the staying up all night aspect. I had initially intended to read the series a chapter at a time with my mom and brother. That conviction evaporated the second I cracked the cover. As many people can attest, JK Rowling created a truly magical world. And it sucked me in.

I probably would have repeated this feat when the fourth book came out, but I received it in the morning and spent all day reading. I don't know if I finished it or just fell asleep - either way, I didn't stay up too late with that one. And after that I had responsibilities that made staying up all night a less appealing prospect.

The second (and last) time I stayed up all night with a book was when my friend loaned me Wizard's First Rule, the first in Terry Goodkind's The Sword of Truth series. This time was more egregious because I actually had a test the next day at school (albeit, a state-sponsored standardized test, so I wasn't taking it too seriously). But right as I was preparing to go to bed, Richard was kidnapped and spent the next 200 pages in captivity. I simply couldn't put the book down and sleep until I knew he was safe. By the time he escaped I was so close to the end of the book that I just went ahead and finished it.

Book Meme - Day 24

Who was your first literary crush or character you wanted to be friends with? What drew you to them?

I'm not sure I've ever really had a crush on a literary character. My early exposure to vampires like Lestat certainly informed what I find attractive (without having much bearing on my real life). And I remember loving Renzo Leoni from A Thread of Grace in a way that made me wish he were real. But when I was first reading the Sookie Stackhouse novels and a friend at the time enthused about my meeting a character because he was "so hot" I was a little confused. I'm not great at visualizing book characters (or settings) unless there's a lot of detail, and there wasn't much in this case.

I guess there's a difference between thinking "I want Katniss to choose Peeta" and "I would choose Peeta". Even when I was writing fanfic, my self-insert wish fulfillment was reserved for TV characters. They loomed a bit larger in my imagination. (For me Lestat was initially an extension of Spike.)

But man did I want to be a member of the baby-sitters club. I could never fully map myself onto any single character. I had Mary-Anne's shyness, Stacey's math abilities, and Jessi's love of dance. I was an amalgam of all of them, and therefore sure that I would fit right in with them. I also loved the structure of their friendship - the frequent (though brief) meetings and the shared interest of babysitting.

My friends and I talked about starting a babysitters club of our own, but it wasn't meant to be. We couldn't meet regularly, and I could never quite figure out how to get my CPR certification that would make me hire-able to people outside my family. But I always had those books and the friends in them that I could revisit time and time again, until I finally outgrew them.

Book Meme - Day 23

Describe how your bookshelf is organized. Why do you organize it this way? What other organization methods might you consider?

For the most part I have my books organized by genre and then further into subgenre. Within subgenres I mostly go by feeling. I put books next to each other if they're similar enough or if they both evoked the same feeling in me.

So, for example, I've got a couple of book cases of fantasy books. I have a couple of shelves devoted to series (Discworld and The Wheel of Time). I have a shelf for urban fantasy, one for portal fantasy, one for epic fantasy, one for chosen one tales, etc. The urban fantasy shelf shades from the more realistic (magical realism, a la The Particular Sadness of Lemon Cake) to the more fantastical (The Dresden Files). The Magicians sits next to The Chronicles of Narnia because the former is a direct reaction to the latter. Sometimes books might belong to multiple sub-categories, and they just get put on whichever shelf has more room.

I have a non-fiction book case with pop science and history books and memoirs. I have a couple of shelves devoted to science fiction, broken further into dystopian fiction, space adventures, and time travel. Actually, I had to put time travel next to WWII, because I own a surprising number of time travel books about WWII. Or possibly WWII books with an element of time travel. Again, sometimes it isn't so easy to categorize a book.

Years ago I attempted to organize all of my books alphabetically by author then title (keeping series in order). It lasted less than a week because I couldn't find anything.

Conversely, a few months ago I put together a rainbow bookcase, expecting to take a picture and then put everything back where it went. But I ended up really liking the rainbow bookcase (it's actually two bookcases, next to each other). It's fun to look at. It's surprisingly easy to find books because I actually have a pretty good visual memory (this might be related to the fact that I was always better at geometry than algebra and physics fell apart for me when we started treating time as a dimension - I need to be able to turn word problems into pictures).

The thing I really like about my rainbow bookcases is that it provides a neat snapshot of who I am as a reader. I've got everything jammed in together. Memoirs next to young adult and fantasy next to physics text books. The individual books in each series are scattered all over the place. I love the contained chaos of it, possibly because it feels like it reflects what my life is like right now.

The only thing I don't like about the rainbow book case is that I can't apply it to my entire collection. It represents roughly a quarter of the books I own. Most of my books have either solid black or solid white spines. Or they have colorful spines that can't be easily called blue or green. And so those books are still being shelved according to my gut feeling genre system.

Honestly, the whole thing is a bit of a mess. But it works because I know exactly where every one of my books are. And that's the whole point of organizing your collection.

Book Meme - Day 22

What author, book, or series do you refuse to read and why?

Somewhat recently, an older, beloved author died. I had never heard of him until that day, or at least not in a way that made an impression. I read his obituary and a couple of other articles about him and reactions to his death. And I decided that I had no interest in ever reading anything he'd ever written. As someone who reads a lot of books, there are few things as satisfying as learning about a new author and then decisively not adding them to your to-read list.

It might help if I could remember the name of this particular author. But forgetting about him is just as effective as purposely avoiding him.

Actively refusing to read something isn't generally something I do. If I'm not interested in something, it doesn't stay on my radar long enough to show up on my to-read list. And if I keep hearing about someone, well, never say never. There's always a chance I'll get around to them someday.

Possibly the best example of this is Stephen King. A lot of people love him. He's incredibly prolific and has had a profound impact on both horror and science-fiction. He seems like a cool dude. But trying to pick a starting point is honestly overwhelming. It's not just that he's written so many books. It's that so many of his books are so long. I'm not sure I'm ready for that kind of commitment right now.

I did finally decide to try The Dark Tower, his magnum opus. A sprawling, science-fiction series seemed like as good a starting point as any. But I read the first two books, and I just didn't care. And now I'm worried that I won't like any of his other books. Too worried to pick up a 1000-page tome just because other people love it.

I'll probably never pick up another Stephen King book. Not because I actively refuse to read him, but because there's pretty much always something else I'd rather read. Then again, never say never. My curiosity may just get the better of me one of these days and compel me to finally pick up Carrie or It or The Stand. It just won't be anytime soon.

Book Meme - Day 21

What author of color deserves a bigger audience? What will you do to help introduce more people to this writer?

This is a tough one. The truth is that I don't read all that many authors of color. I'm actively working on fixing that. But most of the authors I come across are already award winners, which tends to lead to a sizable audience. There's not a ton I can do to add to that.

I have been pushing Octavia Butler on more people in the past couple of years. Her science-fiction is short and, I think, particularly pertinent to the world we live in. I wish Parable of the Sower was as popular as 1984 or Fahrenheit 451, because I think it's just as good and important as those classics. But it has also spawned it's own religion, so it's not like no one is reading that book.

At this point I'm trying to expose myself to a bigger variety of voices. And when I find a book I like, I recommend to anyone else I think I might like it. I also have a dedicated boo blog, though it doesn't get that many hits. And I've been trying to steer my book club to books that are written by women of color (we're two for three so far). But the truth is that this is an area where I need to do better.

Book Meme - Day 20

If you could only read classics or contemporaries for the rest of your life, which would you pick and why?

I would definitely do with contemporaries. This isn't even a difficult choice.

The truth is that I hardly read classics anyway. And when I do, they tend to be more "modern classics" than actual classics. Things that are less than a century old. There are a lot of barriers to the older classics, and the truth is that I probably get just as much from a Wikipedia entry or the spark notes. Mostly I'm just reading them so that I understand references in newer books anyway.

The world has changed a lot since most of the classics were written. And it's only changing faster. It's not just the language in older books that's burdensome, it's the almost complete lack of diversity. Reading older books is like looking back at a time when the world was a lot smaller and more narrowly defined.

I'm not trying to say classics are bad. They tend to be classics for a reason. They're foundational to a lot of what we read today. But when I'm trying to learn more about the world we live in, it helps to read something that was published more recently. The authors are more diverse and so is their subject matter. It makes for a better overall reading experience.

Accident Prone

My brother was an accident prone kid. He had stitches more times than anyone else I know and broke a few bones, too. He was in the hospital to the point that it became fairly routine. We tell the story about the time he got stitches in his head, and his only concern was that they be purple. The nurse was rather surprised by this.

Most of his injuries make good stories now. None of them caused permanent damage, and a lot of them were just so weird. A kid at camp throws a rock in the air and it comes down right on his head. He catches a football that snaps his thumb back and breaks it. He stands up after getting a vaccination and faints, knocking his head on a metal table. It's all just so absurd.

And it looks like Gavin is on track for the same kind of life. What we thought was Nursemaid's elbow was not Nursemaid's elbow. On Wednesday morning it was clear that Gavin's arm was still hurting him. He'd barely moved it at all since Monday evening and was becoming surprisingly adept at doing things one-handed. We decided to take him to the pediatrician for a second look.

She referred us to orthopedic pediatrician and was able to get us an appointment for later the same day. By the time we got there, he was beginning to use his arm again, and we were thinking that maybe it was unnecessary after all. But they took some x-rays and did an examination, and it was clear that the elbow was still bothering him.

The x-ray didn't turn up much, because toddler joints are still mostly cartilage. But combined with the exam, the doctor decided he had either a fracture or a bruise on the cartilage. It'll heal quickly, but as he gets more comfortable with it, there's a bigger risk of re-injury. So the doctor recommended we put him in a cast for a week to give his arm a chance to heal.

It's unfortunate that this lines up with his and Kevin's trip to the beach. With a cast on he can't get in the water and he can barely play in the sand. But it's not like Gavin knows the difference. Kevin is much more disappointed than he is.

Gavin didn't like having the cast put on, but once it was there he cheered right up. Now that his arm is being held immobile I think it's hurting him less. And he's a bit too oblivious to really be bothered by the cast. Every now and then he asks what it is, but then he goes back to whatever he was doing.

I'm still not sure how he got hurt so badly. It seems like that he whacked his elbow in addition to what we saw on Monday. But who knows? Maybe he'll end up being just as accident prone as his uncle. Or maybe this will just be a blip and he'll go on to have a normal childhood with a minimum of extra doctor's visits. Either way, this story will quickly become part of Gavin's personal legend, trotted out for new friends and girlfriends for the rest of his life.

Book Meme - Day 19

What is the perfect reading snack? Why?

I have no idea how to answer this question.

The truth is that I don't really snack. About a decade ago I dislocated my jaw, and then I had to wear a bite guard full time until it healed. And I got out of the habit of snacking. I sort of started again when I was pregnant, but quickly reverted to my three meals a day after Gavin was born.

I'll read a book during a meal sometimes. And in those cases, I prefer food that can be eaten one-handed. That way I can hold my book with the other hand. So nothing that has to be cut up, and generally no sandwiches.

But just snacking? Not for me.

Book Meme - Day 18

Do you feel pressured to read the latest book or are you more of a backlist kind of person? Why?

I'm definitely a backlist kind of person. Paperbacks are cheaper than hardbacks, and used books are even cheaper. Which is important given my reading habits. But more than that, sticking to the backlist helps me keep my to-read list to a reasonable length. New book always get a lot of buzz, which has more to do with the advertising campaign than the content of the book. But if people are still talking about a book 3 or 4 years after it was released, it's more likely to be good.

That said, there are a few categories where it makes sense to favor new releases over the backlist. I talked about this in romance - where the newer books are more likely to reflect current sexual mores. Political books are another category that can get outdated quickly. And there are a handful of authors who I like enough to pick up their books soon after the release, especially if those authors do a local book signing.

Urgent Care

We got another first out of the way last night: our first after hour's visit to urgent care.

Everything was going well. Gavin was being an exceptionally cute toddler, and I was enjoying a glass of wine and looking forward to reading once he was in bed. Gavin has this new favorite game where he lays down on the floor and I cover him with a blanket and then he figures out how to get out from under the blanket. It's amazing, and I like it almost as much as he does, because I just have to sit on the couch. (As opposed to the run-down-the-driveway game, which involves running up and down the driveway over and over.)

So, it was a pretty great birthday. And then we were getting ready to put Gavin in his bath and Kevin picked him up and Gavin just started crying. And crying and crying. Clearly whatever had hurt him was not getting better.

We got on the phone to his pediatrician who said it sounded like nursemaid's elbow - a pretty common occurrence among toddlers who are still more bendy than firm. The ligament gets trapped between the bones of the elbow joint. It definitely sounds painful.

The doctor said it often fixes itself, or we could come in in the morning or we could take him to an urgent care. Well, when your kid's crying and there's something you can do to make it better, you do it. So we hopped in the car and headed to urgent care. By now, Gavin was a lot calmer, even smiling and laughing with me in the backseat. Though he still wasn't moving his left arm.

The urgent care doctor was great. She let me hold Gavin while she examined his shoulder and elbow. She held up his Elmo doll to make sure he could move it. And she sent us on our way with instructions to give him some Tylenol and alternate warm and cold compresses (for pain and swelling, respectively).

Gavin fell asleep pretty soon after we got home, but Kevin and I were all keyed up and stayed up for a while longer. And then, of course, as soon as the pain medication wore off, Gavin was up and crying again. This was about half an hour before my alarm went off, so we just pulled him into bed with us. Cuddling was enough to get him to sleep for a while longer.

He still wasn't really using his arm this morning, though I think that's just soreness. If it's still bugging him tonight or tomorrow morning, we'll take him in to his regular pediatrician. The urgent care doctor gave him a pretty thorough examination, so I'm pretty sure nothing is broken or still dislocated. It'll probably just take some time to heal completely.

Book Meme - Day 17

What is your relationship with poetry like?

Every now and then I come across an amazing poem. One that seems to speak directly to my soul or illuminates things I hadn't considered or is just neat. And then I think that I should really read more poetry than I do. But it never quite pans out.

I think the issue is that those gems are rare. And you have to wade through a whole lot of poems to get to the few that speak to you directly. And even though poems are short, that can get boring pretty quickly.

I've signed up for a poem-a-day email. Every morning while I'm eating breakfast, a poem arrives in my email box. It should be easy to read a single poem once a day during a time when I'm often actively searching for short things to read. The reality is that I read maybe one of these a week. Maybe less. Often they just don't capture my attention.

Recently I bought a slim volume of poetry. I liked a couple of them. But I found most of them trite. And I read the entire thing in less than an hour. I had to bring a second book that day because the one volume of poetry couldn't sustain both my morning and evening commute.

Maybe part of the problem is that I can't quite slow down enough to appreciate poetry. At least not on demand. Which is a little odd, because I'm generally pretty good at slowing down in other areas of my life. But there's so much to read that I just don't have the patience for poetry unless it's exception. And that's such a subjective measure that it's hard to seek out poetry that I'll like.

I guess I'm basically a passive appreciator of poetry. Every now and then I come across a poem that I really like while I'm engaging in some other activity (often surfing the web). I love when this happens, and I'm doing what I can to increase these random encounters. But at this point I think I have to accept that I'm never going to dig deep into poetry and learn to appreciate it as a form they way I did with comic books and am slowly learning to do with plays.

Ah well, there's plenty of other art to enjoy and plenty of other people to enjoy poetry.

Book Meme - Day 16

Who is one author everyone seems to love but you can't stand? Why?

For this one, I think I'm going to have to go with Jodi Piccoult. She's a best-selling author, which means a lot of people must love her. Indeed, she's many people's favorite author. Not that I've ever met anyone who loved her, but I'm sure these people exist.

Which is why I picked up one of her best-known books, My Sister's Keeper, a few years ago. It's about a girl who has leukemia, her younger sister who was conceived and born in order to aid her sister's health struggle, and what happens when the younger sister exercise her autonomy and refuses to provide transplants anymore.

I found this book to be incredibly manipulative. Like, nakedly manipulative of my emotions. I saw right through Piccoult's tricks, and I didn't think they were clever. Even as I was crying, I was mad at myself for being taken in by her. And then the ending was just a terrible betrayal. It was a twist for the sake of a twist and attempted to patch it over into a happy ending when this story could never be wrapped up with a happy ending.

I guess it felt cowardly of Piccoult to attempt to relieve the reader's tension rather than let them sit with it in the wake of a story about an incredibly difficult situation. If you're setting up a no-win scenario, it undercuts it to let someone win.

So I haven't read any more of her books, and I likely never will. There are better writers out there who can handle these subjects with more nuance and courage.

(Sidenote: I'm a little made that this is the post going up on my birthday. I want to talk about happy things)

Book Meme - Day 15

Do you let friends borrow books? Why or why not?

I let friends (family, neighbors, acquaintances) borrow books all the time. It's one of the main reasons I haven't made the switch to e-books yet. I love nothing more than telling someone about a great book and then being able to shove it right into their hands so that they have a chance to read it.

The key to this strategy is to always be pleasantly surprised when you get a book back. More often than not I do, but a handful have vanished into the ether. The good news is that these tend to be my favorite books by authors I love, so I'm happy to buy another copy and send them a little more money and incentivize their publishers to print more of their books.

But really I just want people to read more so that I can talk to them about books. And the best way to get someone to read a book you love is to remove all barriers to acquiring that book.

All that said, there are a handful of books I don't lend. These tend to be special or irreplaceable books. Books that I don't even take out of my own house, and I do almost all of my reading outside my house. Some books are special. But most are easily replaced.

Book Meme - Day 14

If you could only read one book for the rest of your life, what would it be? One author? One genre?

I don't know if I could handle reading only one book for the rest of my life. I hesitate to pick one of my favorites like The Name of the Wind or The Night Circus because, honestly, who knows if I'll still feel the same way about them in 20 or 30 years? I might try and cheat by picking The Complete Works of Shakespeare (which is sitting on my book shelf in a single volume) or The Wheel of Time (which PBS at least agrees counts as one book). They're both long and rich and lend themselves to multiple re-readings. Or I might pick something like The Best Science Fiction and Fantasy Short Stories, which release a new volume every year and would let me stay up to date with the goings-on in the industry, even though that's technically cheating, too.

If it came to it, I'd probably pick an epic classic, like Les Miserables or The Count of Monte Cristo or something. Something that would take me a while to get through and which tackles themes that are evergreen.

Honestly, though, if I had to restrict myself to a single book for the rest of my life, I might as well give up reading completely and focus on other activities. The point of reading, for me, is to read widely.

Picking a single author is a little easier. It would have to be someone prolific who likes to experiment. Someone like Brandon Sanderson or Seanan McGuire, who publishes multiple books a year and builds up intricate worlds that can easily be revisited.

For a single genre, it's a no brainer - SFF. It's almost an effort to read other stuff as it is, and I would happily just fall into this genre forever if I had an excuse. Especially because I can argue that just about anything is fantasy.

Staycation

At the end of the month, Kevin and Gavin are going out of town for a week. This is to help balance out the 5 weeks Kevin spent out of town for work. He gets a chance to bond with Gavin without me around. I get a week of greatly reduced responsibilities. And Gavin will hopefully be shaken out of his momma's boy tendencies.

Also, since I just went back to work full time I don't currently have any PTO while Kevin's starting to worry about his expiring because he's been working so much.

It's win-win, and I have big plans for when they're gone. They're traveling Friday-Friday, so I even get an entire weekend to myself during which I can stay up late and sleep in and lounge around.

I'm trying to find a balance between doing everything I want and planning too many leisure activities and inadvertently stressing myself out during my "vacation". Who knows if I'll succeed, but here are my plans:

• Spend one weekend day doing stuff
• Get a haircut
• Go to the used book store (even though I really don't need to buy any more books)
• Eat either lunch or dinner (or both?) out with a book
• Grocery store (because my responsibilities won't just evaporate)
• Bike ride
• Spend one weekend day on the couch
• Start watching one of the following shows:
• Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
• Preacher
• Miss Fisher's Murder Mysteries
• Anne with an E
• The Marvelous Mrs Maisel
• Schitt's Creek
• A Series of Unfortunate Events season 2
• Santa Clarita Diet season 2
• Sense8 season 2
• And I still need to catch up on iZombie 
• Oh god, I'm so far behind on TV
• Read for a couple of hours without interruption
• Organize my bookshelves
• Also organize Gavin's bookshelf and get some more of the picture books we already own on there and maybe start pulling some of the board/baby books
• Figure out a book-based advent calendar for this Christmas (how many Winter/Christmas books do we have, how many should I buy at the used book store, and what order should they go in. And maybe start wrapping them )
• Make risotto, while drinking wine and watching TV
• Make gnocchi?
• Neighborhood ladies night on Tuesday
• Book club on Thursday
• Spend one weekday evening watching TV and eating either leftovers or takeout
• Spend one weekday evening reading

I think this is all doable, except for that glut of television that I'm never going to catch up on. Never mind the handful of movies I want to watch, too. I just need to pick one and go for it.

I'm very much looking forward to this week without my kid (who I will probably miss even more than I'm anticipating). It'll be a good chance for him and Kevin to hang out and for me to relax and recharge. I can't wait to have (almost) nothing to do.

Book Meme - Day 13

What is a genre or author you wish you read more of? Why haven't you read more of this genre or author?

This is a somewhat timely question.

The truth is that I do my best to read a bit of everything. Most of what I read is science fiction or fantasy, because those are my favorite genres. And once you get embedded in something, it's easy to keep finding more good things to read in that genre. But I make an effort to read widely. I pick up memoirs and young adult contemporaries. I read pop science and family sagas and thrillers. I'm not as familiar with any of these genres as I am with SFF, but when something grabs my interest, I happily throw it on my stack of books to read.

The genre I've been circling for a while is romance. I never read any of it growing up. And even as I matured as a reader and understood that it's not just trashy chick-lit (and as I embraced my own love for romantic comedies and soap operas, and specifically Jane the Virgin), I never quite found time to try it out.

The thing is, it's overwhelming to leap into a new genre. Where do you start? How do you determine whether a book will be a good fit for you? How do you handle the enormous backlog of books?

I started with Book Riot, where I get most of my book recommendations. And that led me to a handful of individual bloggers who reviewed books against various criteria. I started seeing a few names pop up frequently: Sarah MacLean, Courtney Milan, Tessa Dare, Alisha Rai. And then the next time I was in a book store, I picked up the first book I found by one of them.

I loved it. I bought another one, and I loved that one, too. I'm not sure I'm quite ready to tackle the romance section at the used book store, but I think I'm getting there. And in the meantime, the mass market paperbacks are so affordable that I've made it my mission to buy one every time I go into a bookstore for something else. It will help fold this genre into my existing to read list gradually.

The next one on my list is actually a bit of a departure: it's a choose your own adventure romance with ten possible happy endings with ten possible partners. I'm looking forward to it for the novelty of an adult choose-your-own adventure. But I'm also looking forward to what I expect will be a bit of an overview of different tropes. I want to see what I'll be drawn to and what will turn me off. I expect it will help me hone in on what I like when I'm picking future books.

There is one other rule that I'm applying to my forays into romance which is that I'm sticking to contemporaries. Normally I loved digging into the classics and seeing how the genre has changed and where various tropes got their start. And maybe I will eventually work up to a place where I want to do that exploration. But the culture has changed dramatically in the past decade. The way we talk about consent and gender roles and rape culture has changed. The fact that we talk about some of these things at all has changed. That's going to be reflected in (most of) the literature, and it's also going to color my enjoyment of the books. So until I'm a bit more submerged, I'm sticking to the books that are less likely to offend my modern sensibilities. It's not like there's any shortage of them.

And maybe in a few more years I'll be willing to give Danielle Steele a try. If only for context.

Book Meme - Day 12

What is the ideal reading weather?

Years ago, in mid-April, back when I could still spend an entire Saturday afternoon sitting on the couch reading, I was doing just that. It was an overcast day and drizzling. Not enough that you could hear it unless you were really quiet. Which, since I was reading, I was being pretty quite. The trees had all blossomed and now, with the help of the drizzle, the petals were falling to the ground. It was the first day the petals were falling, so there were a lot of them.

I was on the couch by the door to the backyard, so I had a great view of the outside world. Every time I looked up, it was like being in Fairyland. Just cool enough that I had a blanket and a mug of tea and with this magical rain of flower petals outside my window.

It was a perfect day, and that's the ideal reading weather.

Barring that, I'm happy reading in lots of different weather. Freezing days with piles of snow and more coming down. Warm days before the bugs are alive and the sun gets too high, when I can enjoy laying in the backyard. Rainy, stormy days, when I can practically feel the rain hitting the roof and windows. Chilly, foggy days when all I want to read about are witches and vampires. It's all great.

But those flower petals - that was a perfect afternoon.

Outings

Gavin is at a slightly awkward age. He's beginning to get interested in the world around him. He's curious about everything he sees and is always eager to see more. But he's not quite old enough for proper outings yet. I want to take him to things, to start showing him the world. But he can't really appreciate a museum or a play. He doesn't really have the attention span or the bodily control for some of the things I want to do.

Usually we don't end up going much of anywhere. Maybe the store if I need to run errands. Maybe the park if the weather is perfect and his nap schedule is cooperating. But when it's just me and him, we tend to stay at home. Not that there's anything wrong with reading and exploring the backyard and watching some Sesame Street. It's just that it gets tedious and boring fast. For both of us.

Enter Kevin. When it comes to this sort of thing, he's the better parent than I am. He's willing to just pack up and go, though I think I'm better at remembering that Gavin does still need to eat and sleep when we're out and about. Naps are sacred. Without them, Gavin is cranky and irritable. With them he's fun and curious. I just wish there was some rhyme or reason to when he needed a nap. When it's just the two of us, I tend to plan the day around the nap, to the best of my ability. It's the only time I get for myself right now. When Kevin's around, I'm more willing to let him sleep in the car, because I can grab that adult time later.

I digress. The point of this is that we actually did a lot of stuff this weekend. And Gavin did amazing with it all.

On Saturday we woke up and were out the door by 9 am. We went down to Gravelly Point to watch the planes take off from National. Gavin was a bit scared of the first one, but his excitement quickly overcame it. For a while he'd bury his face in my shoulder when the plane was right overhead, trying to get away from the noise. But he'd immediately look up and grin and point once it was just past us. It wasn't long before he wasn't even scared of the noise.

After watching planes for a bit, we went to the Folk Life Festival, which is featuring Armenia this year. We got an early lunch, but the main festival wasn't open yet. So we went to the American History Museum, which was the closest and also has a kid's play area on the lowest level. We played for a bit, then wandered through an exhibit on advertising before heading back up to the folk life festival for a few minutes. This was all more about herding Gavin than paying attention to any of the  information around us. But we survived. And then we got some ice cream and went home and Gavin took a frustratingly short nap in the car.

The next day, we were up and out again. First to brunch with friends, then Kevin and his mom took Gavin to the baseball game while I went home to enjoy a few hours of adult time. Gavin reportedly had fun at the baseball game, and even sat and watched it for several innings. That evening at home, he was actually telling me a bit about it. Well, all he said was "daddy", "baseball", "fun", "game", "daddy's mommy", and "woo!" But even without the complete sentences, it was pretty clear that he remembered going to the game and enjoyed himself. This is the first time he's ever talked about something in the past, and it's cool that this dimension of memory is starting to turn up.

It'll still be a while before I can take him to the local children's museums or a concert or something. But I also need to just suck it up and take him sometime. We have plans to do some of these things later this summer, and I'm starting to feel confident that he won't be entirely too young for them. Even as I sometimes feel bad about existing in public with a toddler. At least the understanding people outnumber the judgmental ones..

Book Meme - Day 11

Is there a movie adaptation you prefer to the book it's based on? Why?

It's true: the book is usually better than the movie. I think books are just able to provide a little bit more than movies generally are. They aren't constrained by a 2-3 hour time limit, so they can poke around in the cracks, spend more time with smaller characters, and just generally flesh out the world a bit better. It's true that movies have audio-visual tools that allow them to shorthand some of the stuff that books spend pages and pages on. But I also like being able to take story at my own pace, which movies don't really allow for.

That said, sometimes movies can vastly improve on the story originally told in the book. My go-to example for this is usually V For Vendetta. In the book, Evie is weak and kind of boring and doesn't have a lot of agency. The movie transformed her into a strong, interesting character who drives the plot rather than getting pulled along for the ride, and it really enhanced the story for me.

But there's another, recent example that I think show an even more dramatic improvement. And that's Andy Weir's The Martian.

Everyone loved this book when it came out. It's no surprise that it was quickly made into a huge movie starring Matt Damon. But I had a lot of problems with the book that basically boiled down to the fact that it was self-published. The story was solid, but a lot of the fringe stuff was a mess. Mark Watney is kind of an asshole. The book changes perspectives whenever the author finds it convenient and mostly so he can show off how smart he is with no consideration for the flow or structure of the story. The additional characters are flat. And the book, on the whole, is a bit condescending.

The movie solved all of these problems by virtue of getting some other people in the room. The story is still solid, and the other characters become much more interesting people. Matt Damon's performance brings enough charm to Watney that I wasn't actively rooting for him to die. And the editors removed the jokes that I found the most offensive.

It all goes to show that stories, like anything, are better when there's a team of people working on them. Authors need editors and agents to polish their stories, and Weir didn't really utilize that for his book. The team that worked on the movie was able to identify and correct his mistakes and make the whole story a lot stronger. This is the rare case where I despised the book but ended up loving the movie. All because a few more people were involved.

Book Meme - Day 10

How do you feel about unreliable narrators?

I love unreliable narrators. Really, I love anything that throws me for a loop and makes me work a bit harder to get at the truth of the story.

Unreliable narrators make for twister tales, with more potential for surprises. They notice less and they interpret a lot incorrectly. It can make for a great commentary on the nature of truth and the importance of multiple perspectives. When handled well, it can let the author secretly pass additional information to the reader that the narrator doesn't have, which helps build suspense, or foreshadows plot twists or character development.

The thing is, I read a lot. I tend to know the shapes of stories. And I enjoy being just a little bit smarter than the narrator or protagonist in my book. It gives me a nice, warm, smug feeling. But I also appreciate an author who has that respect for their reader. Someone who trusts me to read between the lines and figure stuff out on my own. Unreliable narrators are one way to do that.

Book Meme - Day 9

What is your biggest book pet peeve?

In the first of these posts I talked about my preference for paperbacks. I almost always wait for a book to come out in paperback before I purchase and read it. They're lighter and usually a little cheaper. And my to-read list is long enough that I'm rarely chomping at the bit for something that's just come out. I'm content to wait a year and pick it up in my preferred format.

But sometimes, a book just doesn't come out in paperback. I don't know all the ins and outs of the publishing industry that lead to these decisions. For the most part, the paperback is released a year or so after the hardcover. Every now and then the paperback just isn't released. And it messes up all my plans to read that book. I either wait and wait forever or I eventually cave and buy the hardback. Often just before the paperback release is finally announced.

It's possible that if I understood the reasoning this would bother me less than it does. It would all make sense and it would be harder for me to find fault with people who are, after all, just doing their jobs. But from my perspective it just seems random. And it bothers me when I can't get a book I want to read in the format I want to read.

Book Meme - Day 8

If you re-read books, what is one book you've re-read and how did your perception of it change with each reading? If you don't re-read books, talk about why not.

I love to re-read books. Choosing between a new book and a beloved old book is a constant struggle for me, and I'm actually surprised by how often re-reading wins out (roughly 15% of the time according to the spreadsheet I've started maintaining this year). When I go back to re-read a book, it's often because I loved it the first time around and I want to revisit that feeling. Or because I finish a book knowing that there are more layers to it. My favorite books are the ones I can return to again and again. They're cozy and welcoming, and I can get enough of them.

The Name of the Wind is possibly the pinnacle of this. I first discovered it about six years, and I immediately fell head over heels in love with it. Rothfuss is a master of the English language, wringing every possible meaning out of a turn of phrase. Double entendres are too pedestrian for him; he prefers things that can be interpreted four or five different ways, with each of those ways being correct.

With each re-read, I pick up on more clues. I'm more tuned in to the rhythms and rhymes and near-rhymes in the dialogue. I get a little bit more out of this book, and I have a little bit more to wonder about. On my current read through, I've got the tenth anniversary edition, which has several pencil illustrations that add so much to the story. Seriously, some of them have just stopped me in my tracks and brought tears to my eyes. Which is a tribute to both the author and the illustrator.

I have to say, though, that a part of my deep love for this story is because it's unfinished. There's so much to speculate about, along with a growing certainty that I already have everything I need to figure out what happened. I'm eagerly awaiting the third and final installment, but part of me also hopes it never comes. There's a joy in the anticipation that the book can never possibly live up to.

Then again, Rothfuss is a perfectionist. He won't release the third book until it's perfect, if it takes him another thirty years. And maybe that's the other reason I don't mind waiting.

In the meantime, I have a nearly perfect beginning and middle that give me something more each time I revisit. I can happily re-read these for the rest of my life while I wait for an ending that will be perfect, whether it arrives or not.

Discovering Gender

Lately Gavin has been labeling everything around the house as either "mama" or "daddy". Or, occasionally, "Kina". I know enough cognitive psychology to know that humans tend to categorize things and this is the beginning of that. It's a fun stage to watch, and it's interesting to see Gavin start to sort the world according to the rules he's learned so far.

It's also a bit disconcerting, getting my gender roles thrown in my face like this. As egalitarian as our relationship is, Kevin and I do subscribe to some classic gender roles. Sure, we both work outside the home. But I'm definitely the primary caregiver. And I take care of most of the inside chores while Kevin tackles all the yard work. I've always known this and it works for us. But now that Gavin's becoming aware of it, my awareness of it has increased and become more present in my day to day life.

The things that Gavin has thus far labeled as "mama" include: the laundry basket, chap stick, hand lotion, any mug, and most books. Items labeled "daddy" include: beer bottles, bottle caps, the bottle opener, the grill, and ketchup. The leash and dog treats are both "Kina".

While I'm pretty sure Gavin isn't yet aware of gender as a concept, it's pretty clear that this is a precursor to that. He's sorting things, and it won't be long before he lands on things as being either male or female. It's one of the basic structures of our society, so it's going to be one of the first things he learns. But what's really interesting is that, at the moment, I really don't believe he has any concept of being a boy. And I'm excited to see how that process works.

Right now, Gavin emulates both Kevin and I pretty equally. He likes hanging out when I'm washing dishes and loading or unloading the dishwasher. He follows Kevin around the yard picking up sticks.  He tromps around the house in my shoes and loves carrying around empty beer bottles. At some point I expect this to shift so that he's trying to be more like one of us than the other.

At some point "mama" and "daddy" will become "female" and "male" and he'll apply a label to himself, too. I don't know when that will happen. But the fact that I know it's coming has me trying to drink in every moment where he is, essentially, genderless. At least in his own head. I'm positively fascinated by the fact that this isn't really a concept for him, and I'm trying to use that awareness to make myself more comfortable with gender fluidity. After all, who wouldn't want to inhabit a world where a third possible gender is "dog"?

Book Meme - Day 7

What is the first book you remember loving?

I had to do some digging in my memory to come up with an answer to this. The first book I every read by myself was Green Eggs and Ham, and I must have loved it on some level. I had it read to me until I memorized it, and then I matched up the words in my head to the words on the page and taught myself to read. But I don't really remember doing that.

Likewise, I don't remember loving very many short picture books. I'm sure I did, and I've definitely bought several for my son because of nostalgia. But none of them stick out as ever being a favorite book.

And then I came across Little House in the Big Woods, which I read before Little House on the Prairie and have always loved more. It follows the Ingalls family through a year in their life before they decided to pick up and move west, and I adored this slice of life. It's also probably the root of my love of winter, which in this book is shown as a season to slow down and spend more time cuddled up in front of the fire telling stories.

I went on to read most of the rest of the series (though not all of it). But it took me a long time to understand why they'd abandon such an idyllic life for one of hardship and impermanence. Learning more about the family's problems definitely puts these books in a new light. But I don't know that it'll ever erase my love for this one completely.

Double Your Future

People like to say that once you have kids your life is over. Kids age you. They cramp your style and box you in and just destroy your life.

People who say things like that should probably never have kids. These aren't things I ever really believed, except possibly the bit about kids aging you. They grow so quickly that you can't help but be aware that time is passing.

What I didn't expect, and what I have come to discover, is that not only are these statements lies. They are very nearly the opposite of the truth. Gavin makes me feel like I have twice as much future to look forward to. He has broadened my horizons, and that makes me feel younger than ever before.

Part of this is certainly just natural aging. People always tell you that life keeps getting better. That happiness increases with age. That high school and college are so far from the best times of your life that it's laughable. And I always believed it enough to pay lip service to. But the truth is that I didn't believe it whole-heartedly until recently. But here I am, embarking on my thirties, and I've never been happier. At least in my personal life. Politically is an entirely different story, but we won't talk about that here.

So yes, my life right now is exactly what I want it to be. And that gives me confidence that I'll be able to continue to make it what I want it. That I will eventually find a way to write the book that's been sitting in my head for the past three years. That I might even get it published. And that I'll find a way to do all the other little things I want to do.

I have a lot to look forward to, is my point.

And then enter the child. He's really turning into a person, and I look at him now with so much hope and nostalgia. I can't wait for him to start school and make friends. I'm looking forward to guiding him through all the ups and downs of growing up. To his first kiss and his first love. To seeing what sparks his interest and helping him pursue that.

To borrow from Pat Rothfuss, his future adds to mine and makes an alloy of sorts.

This is the part where it gets sappy, but I'm grateful every day for my kid, and for the future that's waiting for him. There's a lot of scary stuff out there. But there are also a lot of good things to look forward to. I have to keep believing that it mostly gets better. And he helps me with that.

Book Meme - Day 6

What was the last bad book you read? What didn't you like about it?

I don't read a lot of bad books. Which surprises some people because I read so much. But the truth is that the more I read, the more good books I read. It's a sort of self-perpetuating cycle. The more I like what I'm reading, the faster I read. And the more books I read, the more I know what I like. I'm pretty picky about the books that go on my to-read list. I have to have heard about it from several sources and read a review or two before I'll even consider a new author. And I'm still occasionally disappointed, but more because of a mismatch of expectations than because the book was truly bad.

But bad books do sneak in. Mostly as gifts, and mostly because my husband is purposely trolling me. Every year for Christmas he buys me something at the second-hand bookstore based on the cover. Sometimes it ends up being a fantastic book. Sometimes not.

This year it was not. This year he bought me Red Rain, RL Stine's foray into the world of adult fiction. And, man, he should have stuck to kid's fiction. He probably wanted a new challenge, but he's been relying on ghostwriters for so long that it's like he forgot how to write.

The most offensive thing about this book was how incredibly lazy it was. The characters were barely sketched in. They were more like puppets than people, having sex or killing just because it would be exciting but with no true motivation. Everything that happened was "just like in a move", which might have been the book attempting to poke fun at itself. But it was just repetitive and irritating. And lazy. Like the author just wanted to get this written as fast as possible with the minimum amount of effort.

Book Meme - Day 5

Who were your reading role models growing up?

This is a weird question. I can't remember ever having a reading role model. My mom certainly read a lot, and was always willing to buy me books. And I had friends who were just as obsessed with The Baby-Sitter's Club as I was. My aunts would occasionally recommend books. But at that age I had a bit of a contrarian streak, and a book recommendation was just as likely to make me reject a book as to consent to read it.

Reading was always a me thing. It was something that made me special, that set me apart from the other kids in my class. I loved it, and I also loved being special, being the best reader. That's more where the motivation to read came from. Not to be like someone else, but to be different from everyone else.

Book Meme - Day 4

Describe the Perfect Reading Spot

I read everywhere. On the train to work. At my desk eating lunch. In bed. On the couch. In the line at the grocery store. While walking the dog. You get the idea. (This is how I read 100+ books a year.)

But when I have a few hours to sink into the perfect book, and I can make my circumstances just right, this is what I need:

A couch or chair where I can be comfortable in multiple positions. Sitting up or leaning over. With my legs thrown over the arm or extended on the footrest. I want to be able to move around without actually moving around. I want a table nearby where I can set my phone, a drink, and maybe a snack. And I want a window that I can easily see out, so I can take brief breaks from my book. I want a blanket to wrap around my legs and enough pillows to support me however I'm sprawled or curled, so I can feel cozy.

Eventually, we'll build a screened-in porch and I'll be able to have all of this outside without getting bitten by bugs. And that will be heaven.

Book Meme - Day 3

Hardcover or Paperback? Why?

I strongly prefer paperbacks. Mostly because they're lighter. Hardbacks are pretty, but it's to the point that I'm always worried I'll mess them up. Dustcovers just get in the way, so I leave them on the shelf while I'm reading the book. They tend to get squashed or bent or ripped.

There's an added bonus to waiting for the paperback which is that I tend to be a few years behind on books. This helps keep my reading list to a manageable level. Rather than running out and buying every buzzy, best-selling book, I wait at least until the paperback comes out (and often until the paperback hits the used book store). This method allows time for the chaff to fall away and the true gems to emerge. Then I can just read them a few years late and enjoy the same experience.

But the biggest reason I prefer paperbacks is simply that they're lighter. They fit better in my purse, they're easier to carry around all day, they're easier to read while I'm laying down in bed. They're just better in every practical way.

Book Meme - Day 2

What nonfiction title has made you more interested in a topic? What can you do to explore this topic further?

I've always been interested in psychology and sociology - anything to do with how humans work. It's at the base of why I read so much. The problem I have with those fields is the lack of rigor. Or rather, the lack of sample size. It's hard to set up a good and interesting experiment on people. It's nearly impossible to do this and get a reasonable sample size and conform to ethics. I considered pursuing neuroscience, but I could never get through the introductory biology classes necessary for it. (Well, I probably could have if I'd really pushed myself, but physics was just so much easier.)

But an amazing thing has been happening recently. Well, amazing from the point of view of these two sciences, somewhat less amazing if your main concern is privacy. That amazing thing is social media and the vast amounts of data that can be harvested from it. We still can't perform meaningful experiments on people, but we can probe into this data and ask lots of interesting questions and actually start answering some of them.

The book that opened my eyes to this was Dataclysm by Christian Rudder, who worked at OKCupid and had access to a treasure trove of online dating profiles and interactions. Using this he was able to start looking at trends in how we date, in the differences between what we say we want and what we actually want, and in general start to understand humans a little better.

This is the field of science that I'm currently the most excited about: the intersection of big data and psychology. Now it's not like I'm going to go back for a degree in either (or both) of these fields. But more books are starting to be published on the topic, and I'm eager to lay my hands on them and learn more about humanity. I've got a similar book, Everybody Lies, currently sitting on my shelf at home.

At this point I'm mostly just hoping that this field takes off and provides me with lots of interesting things to read. If there's a silver lining to companies selling our data for profit, this is it. And I honestly thing it's a pretty big one.

Book Meme - Day 1

Do you prefer character or plot driven novels? Why?

I absolutely prefer character driven novels. And I actually learned this about myself somewhat recently. Or at the very least, articulated it clearly somewhat recently.

A year ago I attempted to read Zelazny's classic Chronicles of Amber series. I found an omnibus with all ten novels in a single binding. It was just over 1000 pages long. Because of the single books is about 100 pages long. And those novels have a breakneck pace filled with twists and turns and plots and betrayals. But they were so condensed that I never got a sense of any of the characters. They all seemed like pawns more than people. Just there for the author to move around to get to the next shocking twist.

I hated it. I only ended up reading half the books. Now, less than a year later, I barely remember anything that happened. A few things stick in my head - the trumps, the pattern - but I can barely tell you what happened or why or even the names of any of the characters.

By contrast, a few years ago I tore through and deeply love Robert Jordan's Wheel of Time series. Each of it's thirteen book is nearly as long as the entire Chronicles of Amber. Plus there was a prequel "novella" that's longer than half the books currently on my to-read list. This series got bogged down in character detail. It had over 200 point of view characters. I loved it. Even the parts the slogged were interesting. I never even considered giving up this series, and I want to re-read it one day (maybe when I'm retired, or when Gavin's in high school if he shows interest in fantasy).

The difference in those two classic series and my different reactions to them is what led me to this realization. But it's by no means a new preference. I'm so drawn to books with multi-faceted, complex, human characters that I barely even comment on it in my reviews. It's such a given for me, part of what makes a story worth reading.

And I guess it comes down to the fact that I read mostly to learn about other people. I want to read about different points of view and motivations and problems. If the characters don't feel like people, if there isn't something there to make me care about them, then I get bored. When the characters aren't driving the action, then the action feels phony and contrived.

So yeah, I'm much happier with a long, meandering meditation than a quick, flashy page-turner.