What nonfiction title has made you more interested in a topic? What can you do to explore this topic further?
I've always been interested in psychology and sociology - anything to do with how humans work. It's at the base of why I read so much. The problem I have with those fields is the lack of rigor. Or rather, the lack of sample size. It's hard to set up a good and interesting experiment on people. It's nearly impossible to do this and get a reasonable sample size and conform to ethics. I considered pursuing neuroscience, but I could never get through the introductory biology classes necessary for it. (Well, I probably could have if I'd really pushed myself, but physics was just so much easier.)
But an amazing thing has been happening recently. Well, amazing from the point of view of these two sciences, somewhat less amazing if your main concern is privacy. That amazing thing is social media and the vast amounts of data that can be harvested from it. We still can't perform meaningful experiments on people, but we can probe into this data and ask lots of interesting questions and actually start answering some of them.
The book that opened my eyes to this was Dataclysm by Christian Rudder, who worked at OKCupid and had access to a treasure trove of online dating profiles and interactions. Using this he was able to start looking at trends in how we date, in the differences between what we say we want and what we actually want, and in general start to understand humans a little better.
This is the field of science that I'm currently the most excited about: the intersection of big data and psychology. Now it's not like I'm going to go back for a degree in either (or both) of these fields. But more books are starting to be published on the topic, and I'm eager to lay my hands on them and learn more about humanity. I've got a similar book, Everybody Lies, currently sitting on my shelf at home.
At this point I'm mostly just hoping that this field takes off and provides me with lots of interesting things to read. If there's a silver lining to companies selling our data for profit, this is it. And I honestly thing it's a pretty big one.
Monday, July 2, 2018
Sunday, July 1, 2018
Book Meme - Day 1
Do you prefer character or plot driven novels? Why?
I absolutely prefer character driven novels. And I actually learned this about myself somewhat recently. Or at the very least, articulated it clearly somewhat recently.
A year ago I attempted to read Zelazny's classic Chronicles of Amber series. I found an omnibus with all ten novels in a single binding. It was just over 1000 pages long. Because of the single books is about 100 pages long. And those novels have a breakneck pace filled with twists and turns and plots and betrayals. But they were so condensed that I never got a sense of any of the characters. They all seemed like pawns more than people. Just there for the author to move around to get to the next shocking twist.
I hated it. I only ended up reading half the books. Now, less than a year later, I barely remember anything that happened. A few things stick in my head - the trumps, the pattern - but I can barely tell you what happened or why or even the names of any of the characters.
By contrast, a few years ago I tore through and deeply love Robert Jordan's Wheel of Time series. Each of it's thirteen book is nearly as long as the entire Chronicles of Amber. Plus there was a prequel "novella" that's longer than half the books currently on my to-read list. This series got bogged down in character detail. It had over 200 point of view characters. I loved it. Even the parts the slogged were interesting. I never even considered giving up this series, and I want to re-read it one day (maybe when I'm retired, or when Gavin's in high school if he shows interest in fantasy).
The difference in those two classic series and my different reactions to them is what led me to this realization. But it's by no means a new preference. I'm so drawn to books with multi-faceted, complex, human characters that I barely even comment on it in my reviews. It's such a given for me, part of what makes a story worth reading.
And I guess it comes down to the fact that I read mostly to learn about other people. I want to read about different points of view and motivations and problems. If the characters don't feel like people, if there isn't something there to make me care about them, then I get bored. When the characters aren't driving the action, then the action feels phony and contrived.
So yeah, I'm much happier with a long, meandering meditation than a quick, flashy page-turner.
I absolutely prefer character driven novels. And I actually learned this about myself somewhat recently. Or at the very least, articulated it clearly somewhat recently.
A year ago I attempted to read Zelazny's classic Chronicles of Amber series. I found an omnibus with all ten novels in a single binding. It was just over 1000 pages long. Because of the single books is about 100 pages long. And those novels have a breakneck pace filled with twists and turns and plots and betrayals. But they were so condensed that I never got a sense of any of the characters. They all seemed like pawns more than people. Just there for the author to move around to get to the next shocking twist.
I hated it. I only ended up reading half the books. Now, less than a year later, I barely remember anything that happened. A few things stick in my head - the trumps, the pattern - but I can barely tell you what happened or why or even the names of any of the characters.
By contrast, a few years ago I tore through and deeply love Robert Jordan's Wheel of Time series. Each of it's thirteen book is nearly as long as the entire Chronicles of Amber. Plus there was a prequel "novella" that's longer than half the books currently on my to-read list. This series got bogged down in character detail. It had over 200 point of view characters. I loved it. Even the parts the slogged were interesting. I never even considered giving up this series, and I want to re-read it one day (maybe when I'm retired, or when Gavin's in high school if he shows interest in fantasy).
The difference in those two classic series and my different reactions to them is what led me to this realization. But it's by no means a new preference. I'm so drawn to books with multi-faceted, complex, human characters that I barely even comment on it in my reviews. It's such a given for me, part of what makes a story worth reading.
And I guess it comes down to the fact that I read mostly to learn about other people. I want to read about different points of view and motivations and problems. If the characters don't feel like people, if there isn't something there to make me care about them, then I get bored. When the characters aren't driving the action, then the action feels phony and contrived.
So yeah, I'm much happier with a long, meandering meditation than a quick, flashy page-turner.
Saturday, June 30, 2018
Book Meme
Life has changed a lot since Gavin was born. And at the same time it hasn't. Things are starting to get back to the way they were before. I'm figuring out how to find time for myself. I'm back at work full time. And I want to get back to blogging regularly.
My biggest regret of the past couple of years is how infrequently I've updated this blog. A lot of the day to day stuff and some small milestones have fallen by the wayside. And now I find myself wishing I had more of a record of the beginning of Gavin's life.
But I'm rusty. I don't know how many times I've sat down to write only to be distracted by something else. I compose entries in my head only to have all the words flee as soon as I get to my computer. Writing has gotten hard.
In an effort to jump start this blog and get me back in the habit, I decided to do another month-long meme. These have worked well for me in the past. Having a set of writing prompts and a set schedule to post them should help me shake out some of those disused writer muscles. And hopefully I'll find my way back to writing about more mundane things.
Bookriot (somewhat) recently published a list of 31 bookish prompts, which is what nudged me in this direction to begin with. So every day in July I'll post about one of those questions. And by the end of the month I'll see where I am. Ideally I'll have written about other stuff in there as well (like taking Gavin to Boston on my own or his growing awareness of gender or returning to work full time or everything I want to do when Kevin takes Gavin on vacation without me next month). I have a lot of ideas, I'm just having trouble actually turning those ideas into blog entries.
So wish me luck. And prepare for me to wax rhapsodic about books.
My biggest regret of the past couple of years is how infrequently I've updated this blog. A lot of the day to day stuff and some small milestones have fallen by the wayside. And now I find myself wishing I had more of a record of the beginning of Gavin's life.
But I'm rusty. I don't know how many times I've sat down to write only to be distracted by something else. I compose entries in my head only to have all the words flee as soon as I get to my computer. Writing has gotten hard.
In an effort to jump start this blog and get me back in the habit, I decided to do another month-long meme. These have worked well for me in the past. Having a set of writing prompts and a set schedule to post them should help me shake out some of those disused writer muscles. And hopefully I'll find my way back to writing about more mundane things.
Bookriot (somewhat) recently published a list of 31 bookish prompts, which is what nudged me in this direction to begin with. So every day in July I'll post about one of those questions. And by the end of the month I'll see where I am. Ideally I'll have written about other stuff in there as well (like taking Gavin to Boston on my own or his growing awareness of gender or returning to work full time or everything I want to do when Kevin takes Gavin on vacation without me next month). I have a lot of ideas, I'm just having trouble actually turning those ideas into blog entries.
So wish me luck. And prepare for me to wax rhapsodic about books.
Tuesday, May 22, 2018
It's the Little Things
Today I received my new debit card in the mail. It expires in 2021, by which time Trump will no longer be president. I mean, I suppose he could be re-elected for a second term, but I sincerely hope that the pendulum will swing back a bit faster this time. There is a light at the end of this tunnel and it's getting closer every day.
Today I encountered the word Coca-Colonialism. The concise description of a particular phenomenon delighted me. All those people who revere German for having such delightfully specific words are clearly not paying attention to English. Or language in general.
Today I successfully held Child's Pose. This doesn't seem like a lot. I think it's widely regarded as the easiest yoga pose, and it's certainly a resting pose. But in the past my stomach has always gotten in the way. I couldn't breath unless I widened my knees to provide a space. Today I didn't have to do that. I held it. I breathed. I felt a lovely stretch in my back and neck. Small victories are still victories and Downward Dog feels a bit less impossible now.
Today I encountered the word Coca-Colonialism. The concise description of a particular phenomenon delighted me. All those people who revere German for having such delightfully specific words are clearly not paying attention to English. Or language in general.
Today I successfully held Child's Pose. This doesn't seem like a lot. I think it's widely regarded as the easiest yoga pose, and it's certainly a resting pose. But in the past my stomach has always gotten in the way. I couldn't breath unless I widened my knees to provide a space. Today I didn't have to do that. I held it. I breathed. I felt a lovely stretch in my back and neck. Small victories are still victories and Downward Dog feels a bit less impossible now.
Wednesday, May 16, 2018
California Vacation, Part 2
After the zoo it was nap time, so we decided to drive north and let Gavin sleep in the car. We found a brewery near the AirBnb where we stopped for lunch. Though we ended up playing cards in the parking lot for a while until Gavin woke up. The brewery ended up being attached to a college, which was interesting and gave it a different vibe (so many students). Danielle and Eric met up with us there and then we all stopped at the grocery store before heading over to the AirBnb.
The place we had originally booked - a five bedroom house about 20 minutes from campus - ended up getting double booked. The owner contacted us and offered a different property for half-price. It was just a little farther from campus, so we decided to take it. Instead of a house, we had three two-bedroom apartments. I think that setup ended up working out better, especially with a toddler involved. Gavin could run around at 6 in the morning without waking anyone else up and they could all hang out late into the night without disturbing him (or me).
Unfortunately, that was pretty much the only good thing about this property. One of the apartments smelled like smoke and another like cat pee. The third had a door that didn't always latch. Only one of the apartments had coffee mugs and wine glasses, so we had to move some things around when we first got there. The floors were so dirty that my feet were constantly black, the water pressure so low that I couldn't fully rinse my hair, and the bathroom so gross (or possibly haunted) that Gavin pretty much refused to be bathed.
On the plus side, we didn't spend all the much time at the rental.
The reunion itself was a lot of fun. It was great to see the campus and some of the new, gorgeous buildings. The architecture is becoming more modern, which is both good and a little bittersweet. I still take a perverse pride in having such an ugly campus, but I get that's off putting to a lot of prospective students.
We had great turnout for our class. I think around a third of our graduating class came to this reunion. It was fun to catch up with so many people and see everyone's babies. A lot of people had kids around Gavin's age, and he made some friends. Gavin also had a lot of fun watching the fish in the koi pond, and we returned to that several times throughout the weekend.
After the reunion we spent a night in a hotel close to the airport to make our early morning flights more manageable. Another college friend lives right by the airport and hosted a pool party for us. It was great to see their house and kids, but hearing about all their plans made me appreciate my relatively quiet life.
All in all it was a great, if exhausting, trip. I didn't sleep much and I read about 50 pages in the whole ten days. But there were so many people to hang out with, and that was the whole point of the vacation, so I shouldn't be too upset. Gavin did a great job traveling, and even held it together well when we were constantly missing his naps. But it was nice to get home and get back on a schedule that had both of us happier and calmer.
The place we had originally booked - a five bedroom house about 20 minutes from campus - ended up getting double booked. The owner contacted us and offered a different property for half-price. It was just a little farther from campus, so we decided to take it. Instead of a house, we had three two-bedroom apartments. I think that setup ended up working out better, especially with a toddler involved. Gavin could run around at 6 in the morning without waking anyone else up and they could all hang out late into the night without disturbing him (or me).
Unfortunately, that was pretty much the only good thing about this property. One of the apartments smelled like smoke and another like cat pee. The third had a door that didn't always latch. Only one of the apartments had coffee mugs and wine glasses, so we had to move some things around when we first got there. The floors were so dirty that my feet were constantly black, the water pressure so low that I couldn't fully rinse my hair, and the bathroom so gross (or possibly haunted) that Gavin pretty much refused to be bathed.
On the plus side, we didn't spend all the much time at the rental.
The reunion itself was a lot of fun. It was great to see the campus and some of the new, gorgeous buildings. The architecture is becoming more modern, which is both good and a little bittersweet. I still take a perverse pride in having such an ugly campus, but I get that's off putting to a lot of prospective students.
We had great turnout for our class. I think around a third of our graduating class came to this reunion. It was fun to catch up with so many people and see everyone's babies. A lot of people had kids around Gavin's age, and he made some friends. Gavin also had a lot of fun watching the fish in the koi pond, and we returned to that several times throughout the weekend.
After the reunion we spent a night in a hotel close to the airport to make our early morning flights more manageable. Another college friend lives right by the airport and hosted a pool party for us. It was great to see their house and kids, but hearing about all their plans made me appreciate my relatively quiet life.
All in all it was a great, if exhausting, trip. I didn't sleep much and I read about 50 pages in the whole ten days. But there were so many people to hang out with, and that was the whole point of the vacation, so I shouldn't be too upset. Gavin did a great job traveling, and even held it together well when we were constantly missing his naps. But it was nice to get home and get back on a schedule that had both of us happier and calmer.
Tuesday, May 15, 2018
California Vacation, part 1
Late last month was our ten year college reunion, which is a little crazy to think about. There was never any question of our going to the reunion - even with a toddler in tow. But since traveling with Gavin is something of an undertaking at this point, we decided to extend the vacation and visit some family in Southern California, rather than just do a long weekend.
We flew into San Diego, where Kevin's sister and her husband recently bought a house. We spent a few days with them, visiting and exploring San Diego. We visited a few breweries, ate Korean BBQ, and went to the San Diego Zoo. But Gavin's favorite part of the trip was their three cats.
The cats were skittish at first, running away as soon as Gavin spotted them. Gavin spent a lot of time wandering around the house, looking for the cats or following them from room to room and softly calling out "meow, meow". It was incredibly adorable, especially when he'd spot a cat only for it to dash from the room and Gavin would sadly say, "bye bye meow".
One by one the cats eventually warmed up to Gavin, much to his delight. I was impressed with how good he was with them. He didn't grab them or poke at them,just gently patted their backs. Once the cats realized that he quickly lost interest after a pat or two, they'd just wait him out.
Gavin was also a big fan of their keyboard. He loved climbing up on the stool and hitting the keys to make noise. He also liked watching other people play and playing along with them. Kevin has been idly wanting a piano as long as we've lived together, and it's starting to look more likely that we'll actually buy one.
We also tried to spend a day at Mission Beach, riding some rides and going to the beach. Unfortunately we timed the trip abysmally and Gavin was cranky and tired the whole time. He wasn't interested in the rides or the ocean. He's not generally a fan of the beach anyway, but the conditions were awful for helping him get over that - windy and cold. We didn't end up staying very long.
After a few days with Kevin's sister, we went north to Santa Ana to have dinner with my aunt and cousins. With my aunt working full time and both of her girls involved in multiple extracurriculars, it can be hard to get together with them. I was really glad we were able to carve out a few hours to visit and see all the improvements my aunt has made to her house in the past decade. It's hard to believe I hadn't been there since college.
The next day we went to the Santa Ana Zoo to see the animals, because we couldn't check in to our AirBnb near campus until late afternoon. The Santa Ana Zoo is much smaller than the San Diego Zoo, but I ended up liking it better. It wasn't as crowded and it was a lot easier to see the animals. They had a whole bunch of monkeys, which are always fun to watch. And we saw a sloth and a very fat squirrel who had figured out how to steal food from the birds. We also took Gavin on the train and the carousel, which were both more successful than the rides at Mission Beach. It helped that we got on the rides well before nap time.
We flew into San Diego, where Kevin's sister and her husband recently bought a house. We spent a few days with them, visiting and exploring San Diego. We visited a few breweries, ate Korean BBQ, and went to the San Diego Zoo. But Gavin's favorite part of the trip was their three cats.
The cats were skittish at first, running away as soon as Gavin spotted them. Gavin spent a lot of time wandering around the house, looking for the cats or following them from room to room and softly calling out "meow, meow". It was incredibly adorable, especially when he'd spot a cat only for it to dash from the room and Gavin would sadly say, "bye bye meow".
One by one the cats eventually warmed up to Gavin, much to his delight. I was impressed with how good he was with them. He didn't grab them or poke at them,just gently patted their backs. Once the cats realized that he quickly lost interest after a pat or two, they'd just wait him out.
Gavin was also a big fan of their keyboard. He loved climbing up on the stool and hitting the keys to make noise. He also liked watching other people play and playing along with them. Kevin has been idly wanting a piano as long as we've lived together, and it's starting to look more likely that we'll actually buy one.
We also tried to spend a day at Mission Beach, riding some rides and going to the beach. Unfortunately we timed the trip abysmally and Gavin was cranky and tired the whole time. He wasn't interested in the rides or the ocean. He's not generally a fan of the beach anyway, but the conditions were awful for helping him get over that - windy and cold. We didn't end up staying very long.
After a few days with Kevin's sister, we went north to Santa Ana to have dinner with my aunt and cousins. With my aunt working full time and both of her girls involved in multiple extracurriculars, it can be hard to get together with them. I was really glad we were able to carve out a few hours to visit and see all the improvements my aunt has made to her house in the past decade. It's hard to believe I hadn't been there since college.
The next day we went to the Santa Ana Zoo to see the animals, because we couldn't check in to our AirBnb near campus until late afternoon. The Santa Ana Zoo is much smaller than the San Diego Zoo, but I ended up liking it better. It wasn't as crowded and it was a lot easier to see the animals. They had a whole bunch of monkeys, which are always fun to watch. And we saw a sloth and a very fat squirrel who had figured out how to steal food from the birds. We also took Gavin on the train and the carousel, which were both more successful than the rides at Mission Beach. It helped that we got on the rides well before nap time.
Friday, May 11, 2018
Sick
Do you know what's worse than throwing up in the shower? Throwing up in the shower shortly before your toddler wakes up while your husband is out of town. Oh and it's also the first day of your period.
Gavin got this bug on Sunday. He woke up and proceeded to vomit three times in under an hour. During that time he also pooped more than his diaper could hold, causing a slightly more contained, but no less gross, mess. I comforted him. I did laundry. I mopped and scrubbed and somehow also managed to eat and drink my tea, because problems like these loom so much larger when I have no food in my belly and no caffeine in my blood. By 8:00 we were chilling on the couch with a pile of books, and it was like nothing had happened.
I should have been expecting it to hit me, because every time Gavin gets sick, I get it, too. And I often get it worse. Or maybe it's that it's just that he's got this combination of stoicism and cheerfulness that makes it hard to determine how sick he actually is. The only time Gavin truly seemed out of it was when he had a fever that brought that glazed look to his eyes. But even that barely lasted for twelve hours.
So of course I got his stomach bug. And of course I got it worse than him. Or at least it took me longer to recover. I finished rinsing the conditioner out of my hair while sitting in the shower. Then got out, got dressed, and slowly and deliberately went about my morning routine. Gavin was only sick for an hour, and I was already feeling better, so I was actually planning to go to work. I ate a single bite of my buttered toast and drank two sips of water before I started to worry about my ability to keep food down.
But the thing about parenthood is that you just keep going. You find these reserves of strength that you never knew you had before. I'm sure if Kevin had been around I would have collapsed right back into bed for another hour. But Gavin was waking up and Kina was whining to go outside and even if I felt comfortable calling someone at 6 in the morning it's not like they'd get to my house quickly enough to actually help me.
I got Gavin up and dressed and gave him his cheerios. I fed Kina and let her into the backyard. And then I realized that I didn't have the wherewithal to walk Kina. So I put on some Sesame Street and hoped Kina would pee before I had to bring her back in.
Twenty minutes later, Gavin and I were in the car. I had my tea and my lunch, still planning to go to work. I was teetering on that knife's edge between wanting to collapse on the couch and being sure that I'd feel fine in another hour. Also, my Fitbit was nearly out of battery and I'd left my charger at work. Then again, Kina may very well poop in the house since she didn't get her morning walk.
I finally decided to just go home. I couldn't stomach the thought of my tea, nothing at work was pressing, and I knew I'd need all my energy for our weekend trip to Boston. Plus I had thrown up in the shower not two hours earlier. What kind of idiot even contemplates going to work after a morning like that? (No, seriously, I cannot figure out what was going through my brain.)
Kina got to spend all day in the backyard, and I got to watch six straight hours of television. By the time I had to pick up Gavin from daycare, I was feeling almost entirely better. We had a fun evening together, and I ended up feeling like a good and successful mom when all was said and done.
Kevin's going to be out of town for another month, and I'm sure it'll be a long month (Gavin asks "where's daddy? five-ten times a day). But after this mini-crisis I feel like I can get through anything. Though I do wish I'd stop getting sick so often.
Gavin got this bug on Sunday. He woke up and proceeded to vomit three times in under an hour. During that time he also pooped more than his diaper could hold, causing a slightly more contained, but no less gross, mess. I comforted him. I did laundry. I mopped and scrubbed and somehow also managed to eat and drink my tea, because problems like these loom so much larger when I have no food in my belly and no caffeine in my blood. By 8:00 we were chilling on the couch with a pile of books, and it was like nothing had happened.
I should have been expecting it to hit me, because every time Gavin gets sick, I get it, too. And I often get it worse. Or maybe it's that it's just that he's got this combination of stoicism and cheerfulness that makes it hard to determine how sick he actually is. The only time Gavin truly seemed out of it was when he had a fever that brought that glazed look to his eyes. But even that barely lasted for twelve hours.
So of course I got his stomach bug. And of course I got it worse than him. Or at least it took me longer to recover. I finished rinsing the conditioner out of my hair while sitting in the shower. Then got out, got dressed, and slowly and deliberately went about my morning routine. Gavin was only sick for an hour, and I was already feeling better, so I was actually planning to go to work. I ate a single bite of my buttered toast and drank two sips of water before I started to worry about my ability to keep food down.
But the thing about parenthood is that you just keep going. You find these reserves of strength that you never knew you had before. I'm sure if Kevin had been around I would have collapsed right back into bed for another hour. But Gavin was waking up and Kina was whining to go outside and even if I felt comfortable calling someone at 6 in the morning it's not like they'd get to my house quickly enough to actually help me.
I got Gavin up and dressed and gave him his cheerios. I fed Kina and let her into the backyard. And then I realized that I didn't have the wherewithal to walk Kina. So I put on some Sesame Street and hoped Kina would pee before I had to bring her back in.
Twenty minutes later, Gavin and I were in the car. I had my tea and my lunch, still planning to go to work. I was teetering on that knife's edge between wanting to collapse on the couch and being sure that I'd feel fine in another hour. Also, my Fitbit was nearly out of battery and I'd left my charger at work. Then again, Kina may very well poop in the house since she didn't get her morning walk.
I finally decided to just go home. I couldn't stomach the thought of my tea, nothing at work was pressing, and I knew I'd need all my energy for our weekend trip to Boston. Plus I had thrown up in the shower not two hours earlier. What kind of idiot even contemplates going to work after a morning like that? (No, seriously, I cannot figure out what was going through my brain.)
Kina got to spend all day in the backyard, and I got to watch six straight hours of television. By the time I had to pick up Gavin from daycare, I was feeling almost entirely better. We had a fun evening together, and I ended up feeling like a good and successful mom when all was said and done.
Kevin's going to be out of town for another month, and I'm sure it'll be a long month (Gavin asks "where's daddy? five-ten times a day). But after this mini-crisis I feel like I can get through anything. Though I do wish I'd stop getting sick so often.
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