Second Trimester

During the first trimester, it seemed like I was coming up against a new symptom or strange thing every day. But now that I'm in to the second trimester, I seem to have settled into pregnancy. My belly is starting to grow, which is exciting. And I'm definitely moving slower and have less energy towards the end of the day. For the most part, this whole pregnancy thing remains pretty easy.

The never-ending butt pain I was dealing with towards the end of the first trimester seems to have finally cleared up entirely. It will reappear if I have a particularly active day (> 15,000 steps), but I've mostly cut back on those, too. I've got some new aches and pains - round ligament pain is, surprisingly and specifically, a round pain. Those are mostly only triggered by sudden movements, though. So long as I move slowly and deliberately, everything is fine.

Of course that means that I'm moving a lot slower. Getting off the couch at the end of the night has become a process. Regular chairs, and even my bed, are still fine though. That may be because I can more or less roll out of my bed and catch myself. That's harder to do on the couch, especially when the cat and dog decide to get in my way.

I'm falling deeply in love with our bed. Even moreso than when we first got it. This is the point where I'm supposed to start to have difficulty sleeping, but it hasn't happened yet. I get up once or twice a night to pee, but other than that I'm sleeping soundly. I credit the Sleep Number bed entirely with this. It's like sleeping on a combination of a cloud and a hug. It perfectly cradles and supports me so I'm not tossing and turning trying to get comfortable. And when it stops, I can adjust to a different number and get my support right back.

The other, related symptom I'm supposed to be experiencing is particularly weird and vivid dreams. Which has half happened. When I wake up to pee it's often in the middle of a dream, and I'll think that dream was weird or frightening. But by the time my alarm goes off in the morning I'll have forgotten all about it.

And then there's the lightheadedness, but that's mostly past, too. For a couple of weeks, I'd start to feel dizzy right after Kina's morning walk. It could continue for an hour or two, until I'd been sitting at my desk at work for a while. It made metro rides particularly uncomfortable, especially when they decided to turn the heat back up. But now Kevin's home and I'm not walking Kina in the morning, so this has basically gone away. Metro rides still aren't my favorite, but as long as I get a seat everything is fine. With my growing belly, I basically always get a seat. We'll see if that's still the case when single-tracking leads to over-crowded trains in a few weeks.

All in all, this whole pregnancy thing has basically been a breeze so far. I'm excited for the next couple of week. I should start to feel the kid moving around pretty soon. And we're going to find out the sex in a few weeks, which means we'll finally be able to nail down a name. In the meantime, I need to do another run for some work-appropriate maternity clothes. Everything is so exciting while still feeling not entirely real.

In the Room Where it Happens

Back in September, I first heard the soundtrack for Hamilton. I immediately became obsessed, listening to it 3 or 4 times a day. It wasn't long before I decided that I simply had to see it on Broadway with the original cast. Luckily, this was back when it was still possible to get tickets. And if they were for the worst seats in the house seven months in the future, well, at least I had them.

It wasn't long before it became impossible to get tickets at all, and I felt more and more justified in my impulsive purchase. Even with openings in new cities and a tour starting next year, it seems impossible to get tickets. The Kennedy Center wants people to buy season passes for this year and next year (roughly $650 per person, total) to get a shot at the tickets.

Some day, I'm sure, the excitement will die down and tickets will be available for reasonable prices. But it doesn't look like that will happen anytime soon.

It's a shame. This show is spectacular, and I'd like nothing more than to see it again. And again. And again. There's so much happening on stage that there was simply no way for me to absorb everything. Seeing it performed live adds so many layers to the show. The staging is fantastic, especially during the flashback song "Satisfied", and the Rashoman sequence in "The Room Where it Happens". I didn't even realize that was a Rashoman sequence, but it makes perfect sense to have the same few beats repeat several times with slight variations to illustrate the varied and incomplete accounts of that deal.

I also discovered new things that I hadn't found, even listening to the soundtrack countless times. Like the whoa-whoa-whoas coming back in "Right Hand Man". Or that fact that Washington definitely says Virginia, not Virginny (I was almost sure it was the latter).

And I was in no way prepared for the stunning presence that Okieriete Onaodowan (Mulligan/Madison) has. I knew that Daveed Diggs and Leslie Odom Jr were amazing, because everyone raves about them. And I was excited to see Javier Munoz play Hamilton. But Onaodowan absolutely blew me away. I had a hard time not looking at him every time he was on stage. Which is really saying a lot, given that cast and choreography of this show.

This show was absolutely incredible, even from the back (top?) of the theater. It helps that the theater is small enough that there aren't really any bad seats. And it was nice to get the bird's eye view of everything, even if the actors become a bit blurry from that distance.

I really hope I get a chance to see it again in the future. Hopefully not the distant future. Or that they decide to film it, so I can just watch it over and over until I know the choreography as well as the lyrics.

Where Does the Time Go?

I looked at the calendar today and realized that May is more than half over. And I haven't updated these blogs in going on a month. Which is unusual. I can't even plead exhaustion this time around. Or being too busy. Though I have been busy. But I've also been balancing that pretty well with down time. It seems like life is about to get crazy, though.

Before I get into that, I should back up and record all the things I've skipped over.

My trip to New York City was a lot of fun, even though Kevin had to miss it. It was nice to see the friends who live there and to catch with some people I haven't seen in nearly five years. I also enjoyed getting to spend some time wandering around the city by myself.

When I arrived, I walked from Penn Station to Union Square, stopping for lunch on the way. I was able to explore the enormous Barnes and Noble - I wish we had a book store that big in DC. And I spent some time reading and looking for public restrooms. Then I went over to the 9/11 memorial before meeting up with my friends.

The 9/11 memorial is really astonishing. I didn't know anything in Manhattan could take up that much space, but there are 8 acres devoted to the memorial and museum. There are two fountains where the buildings originally stood, each of them a full acre. Standing next to them was breathtaking and sad. The designers did a really good job, and I'd like to go back after the trees have grown up a bit more.

That evening we got dinner down in Brooklyn, and, thanks to a computer error, didn't have to pay for any of the beer we drank. (Well, any of the beer my friends drank.) The next day we had a delicious brunch, then Autumn and I went to see Hamilton before joining back up with everyone for a birthday party in Brooklyn. Then I had Sunday mostly to myself again before catching my bus back to DC.

All in all it was a surprisingly relaxing weekend. It was fun to see everyone and to balance that with time in bookstores and cafes. The bus was not fun, and I won't be going on another long bus trip until I'm no longer pregnant. But I survived it and even made it home at a reasonable time.

After that, life got a little bit non-stop. We had our all-hands meeting at work, combined with several new employees, one of whom I was in charge of training. I spent a weekend cleaning my poor, neglected house and running all manner of errands. I had dinner with my mother in law and went to a friend's house warming party. And before I knew it, Kevin was home. It still seems like we've barely had a minute to ourselves, since life is just refusing to let up. But at least he's home.

The Rest of Life

Kevin's been away on a business trip for almost a month now, and he won't be home for a couple more weeks. I've been enjoying having the house to myself and being able to set my own schedule, especially as my sleeping and eating habits veer around almost constantly. It's been nice to not worry about accommodating someone else through all that. I eat when I'm hungry, sleep when I'm tired, clean when I have the energy, and watch hours of TV when I don't.

I miss Kevin, of course. It gets lonely sometimes, and the 6 hour time difference doesn't help. But I'm also pretty independent. Besides which, nothing can be worse than the never-ending summer he spent in Alabama. At least this trip has a definite end date.

The quiet life means that there isn't a lot to report. I went to a couple of local book sales and stocked up my to-read stack. I went on a tour of the White House with my college's alumni group. I celebrated Sarah's birthday with brunch and sunshine. And last weekend my dad flew out for a visit. In fact, I haven't had a weekend without plans since Kevin left, although those plans have mostly been minimal.

Next weekend I'm heading up to NYC to visit friends and see Hamilton (we got tickets for our anniversary). Then I'm taking a weekend off to clean my house and lounge around before Kevin gets back and my mom comes to visit. I anticipate life getting very busy in the next few months, what with the baby coming and our hopes of buying a new home before the baby arrives. So I've been enjoying the time to just relax and not really think too hard about the future. It's been a nice, quite, relaxing Spring.

First Trimester Wrap Up

I've made it through the first trimester (depending on how you count it), and the blog is finally up to date. Everything is going well, and I'm excited to head in to what is supposed to be the easiest trimester.

Not that my pregnancy has been hard so far. I've had no morning sickness, and only one morning of nausea. I came close to fainting a couple of times, but I was always able to sit down and recover. Even my dreaded aversion to eggs ended up lasting less than a month.

It was funny, actually, how the aversions and cravings came and went. I learned early not to buy anything in bulk. I'd find something I liked one week, but then my tastes would change and I couldn't stand to eat it the next. I still have a few half finished things in my fridge (seltzer, yogurt) that I'm hoping to develop a taste for before they spoil.

At this point, though, I'm mostly just eating everything in sight. I've got a decent routine down at work, and I'm bringing extra food to fill in the holes in the day. Cereal and fruit have become my go-tos, though I still spring for the occasional breakfast sandwich, or go out for a second full meal in the afternoon. Weekends are easier, because I can just graze all day long. And with Kevin away on business, there are always plenty of leftovers in the fridge.

My fatigue is finally starting to go away, too. I'm still going to bed a little earlier than I did pre-pregnancy, but that's mostly because I can't rely on caffeine to wake me up in the morning. So I really need to make sure I get a solid eight hours of sleep every night.

As for new symptoms, the most annoying one so far is my sore butt. By the end of every day it feels like I've done ten sets of squats or climbed a mountain or something. I'm having trouble figuring out what this is on the internet. There's a lot of talk of nerve pain in the butt and thighs, which is described as sharp, but nothing about sore muscles. I almost wonder if it could be related to walking so much more than normal - with Kevin gone I'm walking Kina twice a day instead of once - but the pain is getting worse rather than better. I just hope it doesn't last too much longer.

There's a lot of good news, too. We're starting to get some test results back. We know that the kid doesn't have Cystic Fibrosis - I'm not a carrier. And my first trimester screen went well. Everything looks excellent and I'm super low risk for all of the genetic disorders they screen for: Down's Syndrome, trisomy 13, and trisomy 18. So no more tests on that front, and it looks like smooth sailing for the time being.

The best part of that screen was the ultrasound. I didn't react very strongly to hearing the kid's heart beat, but I did tear up a little when I saw the kid. Ultrasounds are often fuzzy. When I see one on Facebook, I often have to squint for a while to figure out what I'm looking at. But from the second the tech brought up the image, I was able to make out my kid. It was so cool to see a little humanoid inside of me. I also got some cool pictures to take home.

A good image of the kid's head

I like this one because the kid looks like a demon

That's all there is to report for now. I promise to talk about something else before I talk about my pregnancy again.

Early Pregnancy: Ten Weeks!

Written 3/30/16

I'm officially a quarter of the way through the pregnancy, and things continue to be weird. On the one hand, it feels like I've been pregnant forever. All I do anymore is eat and sleep. On the other hand, I barely feel pregnant at all, mostly because my body isn't really changing. I've gained some weight, but not a lot. And most people (especially people at work) have no idea. I'm looking forward to hitting the second trimester for a lot of reasons, but mostly because I suspect that this will finally start to feel real.

I'm also eager to put this fatigue behind me. It's getting better. Lately I can go two or three days on a mere 8 hours of sleep a night and I feel normal. But then I crash hard. Yesterday I spent the last couple hours at work fighting the desire for a nap. The exhaustion inevitably brought on a headache (and I can't even take Advil), which landed me in bed by 7:30. I would have been there earlier, but I had to wait for Connor to come over after his class to scoop the litter box. Which I still find absurd and silly. Maybe I'll get better at asking for help in the coming months. Or maybe I'll still feel silly, but I'll suck it up and do it anyway.

Other than feeling more awake generally, if not constantly, my favorite part about week 10 came from my pregnancy app. It's common to have a tracker that tells you how big the embryo/fetus is throughout the pregnancy, usually in terms of fruit. But I found a nerdier one that's more aligned with my interests and knowledge. So this week kicked off with this notification:

I'm pretty excited to have a lego-sized person inside of me. It's also officially a fetus now, which is a nice milestone to hit. Though it's still more than half head.

I'm hoping that this increase in energy will translate into a renewed motivation to write. (It seems to be working at the moment). I've completely abandoned my blog recently because I've been too tired to write. But everything says that should be ending soon, and I'll be able to get back to my normal life for a few months. I may even have a surplus of energy, which I'm really hoping for. So long as the insomnia stays away for as long as possible.

Early Pregnancy: The First Appointment

Written 3/14/16

It's a relief to have the first doctor's appointment behind me. Mostly because it feels like it wiped away some of the uncertainty I'd been feeling.

First off, I didn't actually feel pregnant for the first several weeks. Sure, I was sleeping all the time and steadily growing hungrier. But there was no morning sickness to speak of and my one day of nausea could probably have been chalked up to over-heating slightly on the metro while I was heading to work. Between the lack of symptoms and my lack of a really conclusive pregnancy test (I had two faint positives followed by two tests where the control line didn't even show up) my only real hint that I was pregnant was my lack of period. It was one big lack.

I also didn't entirely know what to expect from the first doctor's appointment. My regular gynecologist is in the process of retiring, which means he's no longer working as an obstetrician. He referred me to two other practices, and I did a fair amount of online research before picking one. I made the appointment, but I didn't think to ask any questions at the time. And then the internet started feeding me all sorts of conflicting information. I had no idea whether they would do an ultrasound or a blood test. Whether they'd find or even look for a heartbeat. Whether there'd be any physical examination at all or if this would just be a meet and greet and a chance to ask questions.

It turned out that I landed with a group of OBs who do everything, which ended up being a relief. The more information the better, as far as I'm concerned. We went over both mine and Kevin's family history, and then I got a trans-vaginal ultrasound, which was not at all traumatic for me, though I can see how it could be. It was exciting to get to see the kid and it's heartbeat, although the heartbeat is still weird to me. At 7 weeks, 3 days, the embryo doesn't even have a heart or a brain. It was what will eventually become heart chambers, and those are spasming at a rate of about 150 beats per minutes. Still, that's called the heartbeat and after the doctor finds out, the chance of miscarriage drops from 20% to 3%, which is heartening.

We got our first baby pictures and went over the dos and don'ts. I'm absolutely not allowed to scopp cat litter, which will be interesting when Kevin's in Hawaii for 6 weeks. I may just invest in some rubber gloves and a pumice stone, because it seems silly to ask someone to come over and empty the litter box for me.

Then I got blood drawn, and that's being sent out for all sorts of tests. They're even doing an additional level of tests because Kevin's uncle had cystic fibrosis and why not check to see if I'm a carrier. I also got a referral for a first trimester genetic screening. At that point I'll get more blood drawn and have an ultrasound that will determine the likelihood that the kid has Down's Syndrome, trisomy 18 and all sorts of other things that I may have learned about in 10th grade biology. Part of me feels like this is overkill, but a bigger part of me would rather know. And I'm happy to put myself in the hands of trained professionals.

I still don't feel very pregnant, but the ultrasound picture on the fridge is a nice reminder that I do have a parasite growing in my uterus. For the next few weeks I'll mostly just be hoping that I don't miscarry. Then I've got another round of doctor's appointments. This whole thing is a lot of waiting around punctuated with floods of information. It's nice to have time to absorb everything, but it's also already hard to wait. Maybe it will get easier when I pass into the second trimester and I can be a bit freer with telling people about the pregnancy. And when my belly actually starts growing.

In the meantime, I'll continue to eat and sleep more than I've ever ate or slept before in my life.