The Opposite of Hibernation

Traditionally, January has been a month to stay in. We don't make plans, we don't go out. We just cover ourselves with blankets and enjoy being home. But that hasn't been the case this year.

Kevin's company hold sits holiday party in January instead of December, which definitely makes it easier to fit into the schedule. It was thrown on the same day he got back from three weeks in Hawaii. So instead of spending his first night back at home, we went down to the Ritz-Carlton in Arlington. His company was generous enough to pay for the valet and provide us a steep discount on the room for the night.

The party itself was pretty spectacular. I got to meet Kevin's new colleagues and their partners. They were a fun group of people, and between the open bar and that fact that we were staying at the hotel we had a lot of fun. The next morning was a little rough, as Kevin was fighting both a hangover and jet lag. It took us a while to get home, but the night was well worth it.

That Sunday, Zach and Sarah came over to watch the Seahawks and the Redskins in the first playoff games of the season. We had a lot of fun playing games and drinking beer while we watched football. And even though Washington lost, they made it further than I could have hoped for at the beginning of the season.

The next weekend we had planned to host one of my high school friends who was going to be in town for a funeral. I was looking forward to seeing her, but due to a mixup she had to cancel at the last minute. Instead we went down to Zach and Sarah's for another evening of games and football.

That week my aunt was in town for business, so we went out to dinner with her one night. It's nice that her work brings her out this way as often as it does. We don't get to spend much time with her when she's in town, but we always take the opportunity to catch up. This time we went down to a tapas restaurant in Clarendon and enjoyed sangria and tapas despite the freezing weather.

All in all its been a very busy month so far. It's been fun to be as social as we have been, but it hasn't left a whole lot of time for relaxation or recuperation. It's a good thing I had so much down time over the holidays. Our schedule doesn't look to be lightening up any time soon.

Keeping Up WIth Kevin

One of my more nebulous fitness goals has been a vague desire to keep up with Kevin. To be clear, this will probably never happen. Kevin has always had more strength and more stamina than me, and I doubt I'll ever actually catch up to him, fitness-wise. It's more that I want to be able to feel like I'm not slowing him down too much.

I've been getting better at this recently. We've gone on some longer bike rides together, and while I know he would go faster if I weren't with him, I don't make such a bad showing. At least I don't have to completely stop or forgo certain activities anymore. And if I average 11 mph on a bike ride that Kevin averages 13 mph on when he does it by himself, well 11 mph isn't exactly anything to be ashamed of.

This past weekend I did a pretty good job of matching Kevin. Certainly better than I would have done a year or two ago. Jen and Steve proposed a hike in Rock Creek Park, and Kevin almost immediately decided to bike down to meet them. I didn't want to drive in the city by myself, so I considered metroing down to meet them, but I ultimately decided that I could handle the bike ride and hike in the same day. And if I couldn't bike back, well the metro was always an option.

So on Saturday morning we woke up and biked the 18 miles to Steve's house. We went a bit out of our way so Kevin could show me the beginning of the C&O trail, which we may do part of at some point. It's packed dirt, not gravel, so we'd have to pick a day when it hasn't rained recently, but at least it wouldn't be as bumpy as the Accotink trail.

Jen made delicious bacon and pancakes for us when we arrived, and we hung out for a bit. Then we drove over to Rock Creek Park to find a trail. We decided on the Boulder Bridge trail, a 3.5 mile loop from nature center to creek and back. I fell a bit behind on the steeper uphill section, but it wasn't too bad. And we stopped partway through to drink some wine and play and excellent game called Infinite City (Kevin lost!).

After the hike I wasn't feeling up to biking all the way home, but neither was Kevin, so I felt better. We took a quick ride to Foggy Bottom, so we wouldn't have to haul our bikes through Metro Center, and took the train home. Granted, at the end of this I collapsed on the couch and Kevin went to umpire a baseball game, proving that I'm not actually as fit as he is. But I still feel pretty good about myself.

Vacation 1

I spent the last week up in the Adirondacks with Boyfriend and his family. It was tons of fun to get away from everything (including internet and cell phone) and just relax on the lake.

The drive to the lake took about nine hours. It was a bit like going back in time. We got off the interstate shortly after we entered New York and took back roads the rest of the way. On the way up we stopped in Scranton, PA for lunch. I was pretty excited, but it ended up being fairly boring and the service at the restaurant was really slow. Boyfriend made two trips to the salad bar before his soup finally came out. We also stopped in Frackville for gas, which the nerd in me was really excited about.

Once we entered the Adirondacks, our cell phones stopped working. The house we stayed in did have WiFi, but I chose to ignore that and just pretend that I couldn't get on the internet at all. Boyfriend, of course, had to check his email and called into a few meetings while we were gone.

The house we stayed in belonged to a guy who had gone to college with Boyfriend's dad. It used to be a lodge and was absolutely huge. Boyfriend and I had a suite on the east wing. His sister had a suite on the west wing. And his mom was in a suite on the main floor that had it's own deck. We were the only ones staying there, although apparently the house is usually pretty full.

The house we stayed in on Big Moose Lake

The house was right on Big Moose Lake, which made for some excellent views.

Big Moose Lake, as seen from the deck

It even had its own private dock.

Private dock, through the trees

I spent a lot of time reading and playing games. Boyfriend won Settlers of Catan roughly 17 times and his sister won once. We spent an entire day trying to find a game that Boyfriend wouldn't win. Eventually, his mom won a trivia game from the 1960s. And on our very last night I won SkipBo, which is really more a game of luck than skill.

I sort of learned how to play Bridge, although I think Boyfriend's mom was getting frustrated with me. I grew up playing Pinochle and the two games are different in a million little ways. Mostly in the betting stage, though. I bet pretty much every hand completely wrong. I'm a fairly conservative pinochle player, so I tend to just not bid unless I have a really stellar hand. This doesn't work out so well in Bridge, since you need to communicate with your partner (which still feels like cheating to me). I tried to teach them Pinochle, but that ended up being equally frustrating.

We also went tubing one afternoon. I had always thought that tubing involved a couple of inner tubes, a six pack of bear, and a lazy river or creek. I was wrong. It turns out that tubing involves being dragged behind a motor boat while you hang on to a raft for dear life. I managed not to fall off, though!

Boyfriend and I chilling on the raft

Trying not to fall off the raft

And here's a picture of the house from the lake

The house we stayed in, as seen from the middle of the lake.

More updates to come later this week

Gaming

I went to game night again last night. It was...alright.

I actually spent most of the day arguing with myself and trying to convince myself to go. It was like part of me was a petulant child who just wanted to collapse in front of the TV after work, and another part of me was a stern parent, putting her foot down. Anyway, I went round and round in circles all day and finally dragged myself off to game night.

Everyone was already involved in a game when I arrived, so I wandered around the comic book section of the store for a while. Then I joined a game of Dominion with a couple who had almost every Dominion card ever released. They were missing only the "con-cards" because they hadn't gone to the convention. There were still a ton of cards, each in a protective plastic sleeve. I got to try a few that I had never seen before. If I had just had one more turn, I would have won. Oh well.

I did find it interesting that the expansion we played with included both a higher value treasure card (platinum, worth 5) and a higher point card (worth 10 points). But the game simply didn't last long enough for anyone to even think of going for those cards. Those cards probably come into play in games that encourage players to collect more money or games that last longer. It would have been fun to try those cards out, but we had a fairly low stakes game going. Only three of us even managed to get provinces (worth 6 points) before the game ended, and the winner ended with 23 points.

After we finished our game, I watched some guys playing a game where it looked like the main objective was colonizing a planet. Even they didn't seem to really understand what was going on. One of them was incredibly awkward and tried to hit on me in an amusing way. He told me twice that he had spent all weekend at some convention I didn't recognize, but which was clearly intended to impress me. He also informed me that he doesn't usually make it to game night because he spends so much time working out.

The guy I met last time was there again. He was engrossed in a pretty complicated game the entire time I was there, but he did invite me to another game night this Friday. And I agreed to go. Sitting home alone on a Friday night with my cat and DVDs is no way to make friends. At least, it hasn't worked up til now. Since making friends is one of the main goals this month, I need to do things to work towards that goal.

One is Silver and the Other's Gold

It recently came to my attention that I've now been living in Virginia for over a year and have yet to make a single friend. Which sounds sad when you actually come out and say it. It's not that I don't have any friends, it's just that I don't have any friends here. Mostly, I'd rather read or watch TV than try to be social. I can go several days without craving human contact, which means that my motivation to meet new people is pretty low. But my social life lately basically revolves around Boyfriend and his friends and family, and that isn't entirely fair to Boyfriend.

The problem is that making friends is hard. And exhausting. And terrifying. I have to find a place to go, work up the energy to go out, figure out how to introduce myself to someone, make small talk, and eventually exchange contact information. Then I have to wait for them to call me or somehow figure out a way to call them and invite them to something. Which involves coming up with an activity I think might be mutually enjoyable and trying to find that balance between calling too soon and waiting too long. And every single one of these steps requires a ton of energy and a million opportunities for me to embarrass myself and I usually end up paralyzed by social anxiety and decide to just watch some TV instead. Buffy can't make fun of me.

Realizing that I've been stuck in this pattern for over a year sent me spiraling into a bit of a depression, hence the recent increase in book reviews. But moping around won't make me any friends. And those hypothetical future friends will be worth the ridiculous amount of anxiety I must overcome to meet them. Right?

Boyfriend is going to be out of town for the entire month of June, and I'm going to use that time to try and meet people. This has not gone well in the past. I left an alumni happy hour in tears because I couldn't think of one single thing to say to anyone. I occasionally go out with my co-workers, but usually end up listening to conversations instead of joining them. I joined a book club but didn't want to talk about the same things as the other members. I tried to join a ballet class, but I only made it to one class because getting home and eating dinner before 7 consistently is really freaking hard.

But the time has come to pick myself up and try again. I discovered a board game night at a local game store that looks feasible. They have weekly meetings that go until 10, so I'm making an effort to go to that every week.

I actually kicked off this Make New Friends project last night when I inadvertently scheduled myself for two social activities. A coworker was leaving to join Teach For America which necessitated a happy hour, and I had agreed to attend my first game night.

The happy hour was pretty much a failure. I got a glass of wine and tried to join a conversation, any conversation. Eventually three separate conversations had sprung up around me, and none of them involved me. I tried to at least pay attention to one so I could jump in. But I have so little in common with the people I work with and such a vast inability to operate in a group setting that this never happened.

I'm great one-on-one. But throw another person or two into the conversation and it takes most of my mental capability to follow the conversation, try and come up with something to say, and double check that it's not stupid or awkward. This process takes long enough that I usually miss my opportunity to speak. Sometimes I can keep up for a couple of minutes, but it never lasts. It's much easier for me to express myself in writing, since I have time to read through and edit myself a few times before anyone else sees it. I can complete ideas without being interrupted and follow my train of thought wherever it leads.

Anyone who's ever gotten high with me can tell you that I stop talking. I simply lose the ability to both follow the conversation around me and contribute to it. And the THC-induced paranoia only increases my natural anxiety that I will say or do something stupid. Which is ridiculous when everyone is high and doing/saying stupid things, but there you go. The self-hatred this situation inspires in me is a big part of why I no longer smoke. (The fact that I would also lose my job helps me maintain that decision.)

Unfortunately, that same self-hatred is now causing me to avoid social situations altogether. That's not a good thing.

Anyway, the happy hour was a bust, but game night was better. I learned a new game with a complicated enough strategy that it carried the conversation through the night. I didn't have to invent small talk, because I could ask what might happen if I played here instead of there. I met three people and exchanged emails with one. Less than an hour after I got home, he sent me information about a few other board game nights in the area. So I'm calling this one a success. And I think I actually managed to make a friend. Good conversation + shared interest + invitation to future activity = friend, right?

I think the board game night is going to be more successful than any of my previous endeavors. I didn't find myself awkwardly at a loss during conversation, and I didn't want to smack anyone I met. And it fits into my schedule pretty nicely. So I'll keep this up and see where it leads.