Double Your Future

People like to say that once you have kids your life is over. Kids age you. They cramp your style and box you in and just destroy your life.

People who say things like that should probably never have kids. These aren't things I ever really believed, except possibly the bit about kids aging you. They grow so quickly that you can't help but be aware that time is passing.

What I didn't expect, and what I have come to discover, is that not only are these statements lies. They are very nearly the opposite of the truth. Gavin makes me feel like I have twice as much future to look forward to. He has broadened my horizons, and that makes me feel younger than ever before.

Part of this is certainly just natural aging. People always tell you that life keeps getting better. That happiness increases with age. That high school and college are so far from the best times of your life that it's laughable. And I always believed it enough to pay lip service to. But the truth is that I didn't believe it whole-heartedly until recently. But here I am, embarking on my thirties, and I've never been happier. At least in my personal life. Politically is an entirely different story, but we won't talk about that here.

So yes, my life right now is exactly what I want it to be. And that gives me confidence that I'll be able to continue to make it what I want it. That I will eventually find a way to write the book that's been sitting in my head for the past three years. That I might even get it published. And that I'll find a way to do all the other little things I want to do.

I have a lot to look forward to, is my point.

And then enter the child. He's really turning into a person, and I look at him now with so much hope and nostalgia. I can't wait for him to start school and make friends. I'm looking forward to guiding him through all the ups and downs of growing up. To his first kiss and his first love. To seeing what sparks his interest and helping him pursue that.

To borrow from Pat Rothfuss, his future adds to mine and makes an alloy of sorts.

This is the part where it gets sappy, but I'm grateful every day for my kid, and for the future that's waiting for him. There's a lot of scary stuff out there. But there are also a lot of good things to look forward to. I have to keep believing that it mostly gets better. And he helps me with that.