The hardest thing about Kevin being gone for an extended period of time is that I have to take Kina on both of her walks every day. I can't leave Gavin behind while I do this, so I have to load him into the stroller. I have to carve out extra time from my morning routine on the days I go to work and fit it around naps on the other days. I have to take them out, rain or shine, hot or cold. I have to control Kina with one hand while I maneuver the stroller with the other hand and hope that the hyperactive dogs across the cul-de-sac aren't being walked at the same time.
The hardest thing about Kevin being gone for an extended period of time is that I can never uite get enough sleep. Gavin's pretty good about sleeping at night. He's mostly asleep by 7:30, up at 5, and up once overnight to eat. But I can only go to bed so early. I end up getting 6 or 7 hours of sleep each night. It's not enough to leave me exhausted and needing a nap. Or even tired enough to take a nap. But it keeps me on edge, slowly wears me down until I'm making stupid mistakes at work and trying not to snap at people. The night finally comes when I could fall asleep at 8, and Gavin inevitably picks that night to be up until 9 or 9:30.
The hardest thing about Kevin being gone for an extended period of time is how much planning I have to do. In the evenings after I pick up Gavin from daycare I have two hours to feed him, feed myself, walk the dog, bathe Gavin, feed him again and get him to bed. I can make it work, but it's tight. I have to take care of the million little things that usually fall on Kevin's plate: taking out the trash, replacing burnt out bulbs, clearing off the driveway, etc. On the bright side, he makes me appreciate him more when he is here.
The hardest thing about Kevin being gone for an extended period of time is how much he's missing. Gavin can feed himself now. He's starting to understand language and make his wishes known. He's sitting in his stroller like a big boy and can get pretty much anywhere he wants to go. I'm getting to know him better each day, and I'm trying to keep track of all the things I need to make sure Kevin knows when he gets back. How to tell when he's hungry or tired or just wants to be held.
The hardest thing about Kevin being gone for an extended period of time is when he gets back. Gavin and I have established our routine and anything Kevin does disrupts it. We have to accommodate another person, and it takes a few days to adjust. The burden doesn't quite get lifted in the ways I expect it to, and it leaves me cranky while I remember how to take a step back.
Just two more days and then I can (hopefully) catch up on sleep.
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