First Mother's Day

There are people who claim that last year, when I was pregnant, was my first Mother's Day. But for me it felt wrong to celebrate then. Now that I've got an infant, I'm doubling down on that. Last year all I wanted to do was sleep, and there was nothing stopping me from doing just that (well, I did have to get up and walk the dog at some point). This year all I wanted to do was sleep, and despite my best efforts it just didn't happen.

Last year Kevin was out of town for Mother's Day. His mom called me up the week before, and we had the following exchange:

Her: What are you doing for Mother's Day?
Me: Nothing
Her: Well, would you like to get brunch?
Me: No, you misunderstood. I'm doing nothing this weekend.

 See, Kevin would go on these long trips, and I'd always look forward to spending some time beholden to no one. But with one thing and another, that was the only weekend he was gone that I didn't have an obligation of some sort. And I was guarding that time jealously, knowing that it was running out.

This year, I'm even more pressed to find time for myself. Kevin's still traveling, though not quite as much. Caring for an infant has made me desperate for any and all adult contact while he's away. And when he's home, want to see him and hang out as a family. But all I really wanted for Mother's Day this year was to not be a mother for a little bit.

Thankfully, Kevin had just gotten home from a work trip. So he took Gavin out to get brunch with his mother, and I had a few hours to myself. The original plan was to take a bath or a nap. But life has a way of piling up. I had to do laundry and some dishes and get Kina to and from a grooming appointment. I was able to squeeze in a couple of TV shows around my shores. And even though it wasn't quite the relaxing day I'd been dreaming about, it helped rejuvenate me. Maybe next year, when I'm not quite ass tethered to Gavin, I'll get a longer chunk of time to myself.