It's hard to believe that Gavin is already a whole month old. I feel like I've been living in some parallel universe for the past month, and I'm still not sure I'm ready to return to reality. But I'm getting there. And part of that is keeping up with this blog again.
The past month has been unlike any other time in my life. I spend a lot of time watching TV while Gavin eats, since I can't really do anything else. We've had a never-ending parade of house guests. It's nice that we have such a huge and loving family, and it's been great to see everyone. But it also makes it impossible to start establishing any sort of routine. And while Gavin is still a bit too young for a schedule, I feel like I'm struggling to find time to cook and clean because all of my extra energy is being spent entertaining. Thankfully our guests have all been incredibly helpful. But I'm looking forward to getting control of my house back.
Gavin is doing wonderfully. He's a great sleeper. By the first week he was going down for a solid 4-5 hours every night, and that's still true. If everything works out right, I can get 6 or 7 hours of sleep. In practice that only happens 3 out of 4 nights, but it's enough to keep me sane. Generally, I'll feed Gavin after dinner, then try to get to bed by 9. Kevin stays up with him until midnight or so and gives him a bottle. Then I'm up between 3 and 4, more because my boobs are full than because Gavin is crying. If I can't convince him to eat, I pump. But that's always a bit of a risk, since I can't feed him for an hour or so after I pump. I just have to hope he'll stay asleep that much longer.
Gavin is also a pretty calm baby. He gets fussy sometimes, but he mostly only cries when he's hungry or gassy or needs a new diaper. I've gotten better about not letting him get overly hungry, because then he gets too upset to eat, and it can be hard to calm him down. But as we get to know each other that happens less and less.
As for developments, he's still mostly a little blob who eats and sleeps. He's started to make eye contact, which is cool. And he has a whole range of fun facial expressions, though I think they're still mostly involuntary. He likes looking out windows and at lights. Really he focuses on anything bright. We got him a mobile a week or so ago, and yesterday was the first time he really seemed to look at it. I had to put him in the crib so I could run to the bathroom, and he started crying. But I turned the mobile on, and by the time I was back he had calmed himself down and was fixated on the little hanging whales. I think the music helped, too.
For the most part, Gavin likes music. When we play it, he seems to get quiet and listen. Then only exception so far has been when I played "Dance Magic" from Labyrinth for him, which set off a tantrum. I'm hoping it was just a one-off thing. He's got to learn to love both David Bowie and Labyrinth, but there's still time to bring him around on it.
I'm mostly holding up well, too. I have, once or twice, felt myself slipping into a depression. Sleeping late and having trouble getting out of bed. But I've been able to snap out of it after a few hours. I really don't think it's a postpartum thing so much as a combination of the election results, the constant house guests, and my own lack of sleep. Bit by bit, I'm returning to myself. Reading books (slowly) and finding time to blog. By next week I'm hoping to start figuring out a schedule for Gavin and getting back to my life even more. Though I may still mostly be in hibernation mode through Christmas.
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